I was damn suay this wk..kena food poisoning in my busiest wk!! wts right?
i had food poisoning on tues. i had no choice but to visit the doctor. cos i dun dare to eat anything after i vomited and diarrhea as i scared that i will vomit more. bo bian. den i got an MC cos i was really damn sick and got a fever.
when i went back to sch on wed for my accounting test, ppl were like saying, wahh pon sch to mug ah? i really nvr. i seriously hope ppl wun judge me. i mean for the test i did quite well, but not becos of that reason. in fact i had much lesser time to study for it cos i spend most of my time slping. i think i spent less than 3 hr to study for it.
and i really is bo bian one can. those who noe me noe that i dun like to see doctor. i always self medicate. just that food poisoning...i dun have the medication with me..and i will starve to death if i dun visit the doctor cos i dun dare ingest anything. and cos the doctor only gave me MC on tues, i still die die have to go for the acc quiz. sighh...i just hope ppl wun think i that im that kind of person who will pon sch to study for test. wat's the point lor. lessons are more impt that the stupid 5% quiz pls. so much that i have to catch up now cos i missed so many lessons cos of the stupid food i ate in sch.
ya...but how ppl wanna judge i also cannot say anything lah. just hope that false rumours wun spread abt me.
but anyway, cos of the food poisoning, i realised that my younger bro is actually quite nice. i think he mature alrd lah. tues after ive seen the doctor, i took a taxi home. totally felt like dying. called my mum but her phone is offed. so i sms her to ask her help me buy porridge for dinner. den i scared her phone no batt or wat..so i sms my bro to tell my mum that if my mum call him in any case. den i went to slp. he actually came back home and cooked porridge for me! haha just plain porridge. but good enuf for me at that time :) haha maybe cos he likes to cook also lah. but the fact that he specially came back just to cook for me, i appreciates that.
and my relationship with my family individual members seemed to have gotten better ever since i went uni. i like it. a lot. for so long ive wanted some family love. in the past i was really too independent and no one actually cares abt wat i do, whr i go. i like that freedom, but it also means i sacrificed smth else for that freedom. but i like the equilibrium now. maybe can have more family care bah :)
though the family may be splitting soon, i just hope that we can still be thr for each other when we need them.
# posted by JwwT at
5:50 PM
born to be a tanker, raised to be a loner.
i've changed a lot ever since jc. i guessed i have became a nicer person to ppl, being too concerned abt how ppl feel. i always try to be there when ppl and frens needed my help in any form. and now, with so many things happening, i feel that i am the pillar of my family. not needing anyone to really care how i feel, i will just tank everything down for them. (maybe i was just raised to be too independent. sometimes i am really just too amazed by my independence.) and if that's the case, my time and mental strength only allows me to be a loner. while i try my best to mingle with every group of my frens, i cant devote meaningful time just to a particular person. there's just too much to handle.
ppl do change with time. ppl whom i tot were nice from interactions in orientations have changed ever since sch started. perhaps they dint change, just that you dunno enuf abt them. thinking that new frens were made during orientation...eventually only ended up as "hi, bye' frens. unless you really make the effort to stay in contact with each other, they will only be ppl whom you just go sch with, and say hi and bye when you meet.
really good and bonded frens you make is also going through the test of time. for ppl who you tot are really closed to you, to whom you can htht with, you can still lose them eventually. the link isnt that strong anymore. they themselves also made new frens and have alot of groups of frens to attend to.
these are just tots that came abt when help is earnestly needed but no help is rendered. i just feel that perhaps i was too naive trying to hold onto beliefs that were no longer arnd or never even existed.
可笑至極。但我也以領悟了，也醒目了。
別在奢求不可能的可能。
# posted by JwwT at
9:35 PM
this is so random but...
YONG HWA IS SO SHUAI IN THIS MV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha smth to change my mood :D
# posted by JwwT at
6:06 PM
uni life has been super busy for me so far. overwhelming is the word.
still trying to catch up wif work.
i did smth that i had never expect myself to do - campaigning for election. while i did not succeed, i was glad that i mustered my courage to step out of my comfort zone. im damn proud of myself in this respect. for that, i also need to thank all those seniors and hallmates whom encouraged me to go for it.
while i really had fun campaigning, thinking back abt it, i still feel quite sad abt it. i felt that i was a failure. i failed to maintain a good enuf relationship wif ppl such that they would offer me their help voluntary. yes perhaps it was my fault for not approaching them to ask for help, as i tot that ppl may be busy. but even when i post on the social communication platforms to garner some help to prepare for my campaign, none actually responded. i felt super lonely by myself when i was giving out my flyers and sweets to another grp of lect. many occasions like this, though i feel that ive grown much stronger as i was very independent, i would be telling myself why am i like this while the others have to many ppl to support them. and every time this tot surfaces, i feel sad.
but of course there are still a few ppl who offered me their help voluntarily - my mum, my nbs SP, and my triple bond. i would really want to thank my SP. it is really nice of him to offer me so much help when we only spend 4 hours knowing each other. i couldnt be more grateful.
now that election is over and i failed to achieve wat i have wanted, i will need to plan my life again and organise my life.
# posted by JwwT at
6:18 PM