just sent shao off last night. i dunno why, but everytime when i send someone off at the airport to pursue her studies, i will be wondering abt my own future. like im kinda screwed up. cos up till now, i still dunno wth im doing, whether i made the right choice, wat shld i do in the future etc etc. somehow, it feels that those who are going overseas had alrd made up their minds and have a clear idea of what they are gonna do and are putting their all for it. afterall, going overseas to study is really a gamble, and one is going to sacrifice alot just to pursue their dreams. so it just seemed that they know their stakes and are willing to gamble, and had a sure win mindset.

i dunno why i worry so much abt my future. to those whom i have talked abt my worries they know i have damn a lot of concerns abt the future. i got no idea why im so afraid of wat im doing now, afraid that i would be making mistakes. i dunno why im scared of making mistakes on life. we only have one chance to live our lifes. so in wat way shld i live it? not afraid and just do it? and making mistakes is ok? or think and lead a perfect life so that there is nth to regret? both have their pros and cons...i just dunno which way i shld do it. perhaps why im so afraid now is just that so far my life has been following the correct path, and the only mistake that ive made had made me regret so much.im totally lost now.

anyways..my new year resolutions:
1) do some good deed to accumulate some karma..to compensate the bad deed i have done last year
2) be academic focused
3) stop being a jack of all trades, must be determined and persevere to really be good at something, and not just 半桶水
sighh i realised this is really a super big problem abt myself. i know everything, but just dont excel in them. e.g. bball, table tenis, guitar, electone, math etc etc....
4) retake my electone exam again..and at least make some improvement. it will be good if i can pass it.
hopefully i can get rid of the thought that i can nvr be good at it..and be determined to get my skills and improvisation better
5) help my tutee get her As for A level..but since i wun noe the results by the end of 2013, at least i will help her get As for her prelims!
6) maintain my gpa..or even improving it...since the earliest i can go for xchange is y2 sem2...but more likely to go in y3 sem 1..
7) stay in touch with my friends