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Exco result was out. I dint get in.
說不會失望的話是在放屁，因為曾經期望過。可是也不會很難過，因為知道自己的希望不大。看開了吧。
Not a really bad thing. At least i can focus on my studies..and i can always find alternatives to build up my portfolio. Anyway, in a group, there can only be one leader. If everyone were to fight for leader, then there will be chaos. So i will play my own part as a follower to support the leader. There is no use if there is a good leader without followers.
Need to chiong work!!! :]
# posted by JwwT at
9:57 PM
YAY! Ystd was a fun but exhausting day.
Had GEMS in the morning. ICE SKATING!!! haha, super long nvr ice skate le..actually also not very long..7 mths bah. Last time was with zoe, hazel and wendy :] But this time i finally manage to skate propoerly, though i fell down super lots of times :P But really had a very fun time :]
After that was lunch, then pool..den had to rush off for music lesson. Den after lesson rushed back to dhoby ghaut again cos got as SOS call for cs. Planned to go watch fireworks at marina square myself one. Then on the mrt liao cs called and say need help from me, so i went. He got his taiwan buddy with him but S6Z chinese cmi (like 煙火 became 電燈泡 LOL), so ask me go entertian him. 我說過我會幫忙我就會做到.
Ya, so went picnic at this place near flyer..not a very strategic place to watch fireworks though. But had a fun time :] Then lester shot a 月亮代表我的心 photo and i 獻唱了“小薇” for cs and bel..haha, i so got talent can :p But hope bel is not offended..paiseh
Sian...got a infected wound le...cos of the blades. Nvr wear long socks cos lend it to xinni, den by blades quite loose..den got friction, so 破皮. Dint realise till i waiting for bus to go for lesson, so just anyhow wipe woth wet tissue and put plaster. Den went home bathe that time realise got pus liao..shit..Den today morning see the plaster got pus also..so decided to use alcohol swab to clean.. wah siao lah...pain sia! And my body aching everywhere now...
Hope i don't fall sick! Alrd got sore throat liao still gei kiang skate without jacket. hope my immune system is string enough :p
# posted by JwwT at
11:31 AM
Just got back from VGC and bathed. While waiting for hair to dry..shall come blog :]
Sch today quite slack. But smth happened during phy lecture that make me 感觸良多，但也不想多說。
But VGC tiday was fun. After learning the new song, we were jamming on our own. Den ppl start to gather and jam with us also. So damn high!!! Oh ya, today also got suria ppl coming here to film. Den the person keep standing there and filming..den me and shao is like....keep playing and trying to ignore the camera lol.
And the stupid splinter from ystd dinner still not out yet. Eating 打包-ed hokkien mee with the wooden chopsticks, den must be that stupid chopsticks lah..sian. anyway, thx shao for the unsucessful attempt to help me pluck out the splinter :p
Ok..have a great plan tmr. Out the whole day. Dio pangseh by hazel woon!!! but nvm, i shall go alone and mug there also bah. Tmr will be a nice day :]
# posted by JwwT at
12:00 AM
Finally, gotten back all the results for blocks.
B B C E S..
Quite happy that I've got improvement in my GP (but maybe it is also becos we changed teacher and she got a diff marking stlye...so also not sure if it is really an improvement or not) But the rest of the results are like...sian :( Seriously...there's no A(s)...My math...CMI this time.. Even my friends did better than me now. Though there is a physics paper before math, but i can't really blame that..I know that it is not an excuse. I know it is me that i dint do well. Phy..So-so..Chem, i knew where i went wrong. I will work harder.
Econ is the thing. I knew where i went wrong after the exam. I lacked structuring skills and plus my sucky english, i can't really explain my points properly. Plus all the panics during exam..i screwed the paper up. Econ is not only about knowledge, but also skills. I may have the knowledge, but not the skill. That's why i did worse than some of the others. When skill is not ur talent, U will have to keep practicing. U will have to put in more effort. So, I will put in more effort. I will make sure I practice. I will ensure this is not just talk cock with no actions taken. I really hope to be determined. I will still rely on myself this year. I will see if I can really do it without reliying on tuition from my brother. I will prove that I can learn a new discipline myself.
# posted by JwwT at
6:37 PM
嗨...最近一直嘆氣。
標准的偽善者。
Had FOS for PE today. Won both games for captain's ball!! We rock! But seriously lah, that guy from that class..totally no sportmanship. 連女生都推，太沒風度了。
Got back GP compre paper today. Happy to have a 5 mark improvement :] Happy for my paraphrasing, summary and AQ. But cannot be contented just like that. I will work harder and improve again for the next test!
Tmr got cca..not sure if elections results will be out...Hope for?? I dunno. 不想抱太大的希望，不然失望時會絕望。
又再嘆氣了。Should have a sighing counter and see how many times i can sigh in a day lol.
# posted by JwwT at
8:38 PM
Super tired!!!
Had PW workshop today! I was late :p but nvm, the person very nice one haha :p The workshop is quite fun, or i mean very funny. Totally lah. I laugh until stomachache liao can. Our group super funny sia. Especially cs part. Thr floor plan. I really laugh until cannot laugh liao. Our grp dynamices not bad :] But ppl, must do work hor! 不要夸一夸就得意忘形了 :p
And i think me and cs totally 没有默契 haha. Like we said this in our skit "we are not meant for each other..." den later when change speakers we were like 挡住 each other 的去路. Den the totor also say our grp made all the mistakes he said. We damn pro sia.. But i quite proud of my QnA haha. Manage to crap smth chim out :]
Den after the whole workshop we had forfeits for ppl with super lots of pause fillers. Is like hahaha again, but cannot laugh too much, cos stomach still pain. Den i help the person keep his video stuff. I 明明switch off the switch liao den plug out the plug, but then still got shocked by electricity...?!?! hmmm...
But i think our class super lucky to get the tutor from the audi one, cos he very fun. Can see that other classes lesson very boring. 太幸运了!
Played bball again. 4th time this week. Played full court...a bit de siao..and is like 9 guys and 1 girl??? I think i quite useless there lah, but still managed to score 1 tai ko ball.
Electone lesson is still like usual. But the guy, the only person who took the exam in june, failed. He is like one of the most passable one in our class liao..den he fail...so i'm like...can i pass?? Sigh...take one exam need $200++ dun wan waste $$ leh...have to pass!!! must jyjy!!!
有些事知道太多对身心不太有益。還是沉默地觀察吧。
# posted by JwwT at
8:40 PM
hmmm..waiting for hair to dry.
Election was...ok bah i guess. But i dont think i can get votes from peers bah. Cos i think there are better ppl out there. Like there are a few that ppl will confirm choose one, so ..聽天由命吧。希望把得失心調到最低，才不會太過在意結果。
Got PW workshop tmr early in the morning....sian lah...need to faster slp le...hair quickly dry leh!
有時候把心裏的話說出來真得會比較舒服。不會再胡思亂想了。很感謝緣分把我們拉在一起成為知己。
# posted by JwwT at
12:31 AM
Played bball almost everyday...except for tues. Maybe i shld rest tmr also le...shan't play too much. The sun super strong and i getting darker and darker. Then everytime i play my face will turn super red..quite ugly..i also care image one can :p hahaha
发生了许多事。从来没想过我如此让人信任。"相信我，我会回报你的信赖。"
I am like a bank. You can deposit anything you want and withdraw it any time. I will save keep them :]
是时候放手了。不要想太多。明天的 exco election do my best can le. Don't be to stressed up!!!
"若你要繼續戰斗，那我就是你戰斗的劍，守護你的盾。"
相信一切会明朗化! :]
# posted by JwwT at
8:53 PM
Today's principal dialogue was about love. Oh no no, i mean True Love :p
Den GP we did ethics, and learnt examples of ethical dilemma. Finally learning smth for GP. Quoting smth someone said from my class (forgot who le),"what we learn in 1.5 hr today is more than what we learn in 6 mth" Totally agrees :]
Ok, that is not the main point. The main point is, after some critical thinking (principal say must have critical thinking), I think that Love is actually an ethical dilemma too!
What makes me say so? Is like got this qn posted: when is the best time to start BGR?
Ok, den got this comment by the secretary that makes sense to me. It goes like: you can't really set a time for urself to be engaged in BGR. It depends on when the right person appear.
But then right...wat if ur parents say that you can only start BGR like after JC for example? Then when the right person comes around, shld you start a relationship? If you start, u are disobeying ur parents, making them upset, which is unfilial. But if you don't, den you are sacrificing ur opportunity, ur happiness for the sake of ur parents. What happens if the person is really the right one? U missed it, and it will never come back again? Den you are breaking the person's heart and ur heart.
Hmmm...dilemma sia...haha. That's the end of my love thesis LOL :p
# posted by JwwT at
7:38 PM
Finally, mood is better today.
Started doing PW stuff cos feel the need to chiong! But only just finished it..still waiting for chun mei's poster.
Mood is better cos got influenced by the ki siao shao ting..Dance also..was happy during dance. One of the 2 new little boys very cute :] Sigh...but today was the last dance lesson le......
Ok, still got issues and ideas and econ tutorial to chiong! Don't need slp liao lor..but other ppl also not slping, cos got World Cup Final. Not watching..since i dunno wat time is it and dint subscribe to the channel.
Principal dialogue tmr...a total waste of time. I think we cannot start sch at 9am also cos the principal wants his dialogue bah...sian lor. I am so going to charge my phone so that i got smth to do for that 1 hr tmr :p
今天老媽心情特別好。一大早很好聲好氣的叫我起床。買午餐回來時也沒有怨言。然後就是對我挺好的，語氣也不錯。本來覺得是她 mood swing 嗎？可是後來覺得應該是因為她收到了哥哥的簡訊吧？
嗨...不管原因是什么了。這樣的感覺還挺好的。
# posted by JwwT at
10:10 PM
相信我。這件事你不需要知道。
因為我自己能解決。
解決了，就沒事了。所以選擇不說。
Because it may turn out to be just a joke.
我需要時間。時機成熟了，才考慮是否要告訴你。
所以那通電話，我選擇沉默。希望你能諒解。
因為我知道，你能了解我。
# posted by JwwT at
1:37 PM
Dunno why i was in a bad mood since this morning. Like just feeling pissed and very stressed up. Think is because of PW bah. Seriously, i am super stressed up by that. It's a huge responsibility i have to bear. Can't afford any mistakes. But now is like i'm totally lost and dunno wat to do le.
After PW went music room play guitar. music seriously makes me feel better. But i think i got hormonal imbalance. In a bad mood again after that..Bad mood till sch ends, after PIP, play bball. Finally felt better after playing hard.
Intended to go for the CIP tmr one...but just remembered that i have a new song to learn by tmr!!! I totally havent touched it lah..like got 8 pgs? Siao! So need to chiong tmr liao. But this is super amazing, that i have been playing electone for abt 10 yrs??為自己的持之以恆感到驕傲 :] But i think spent abt $30k these 10 yrs :p
Need to chiong music in the morning..so need to do PIP after lesson, and chiong PW proposal and questions. Then still got the stupid issues and ideas..sian......
相信一切都不一樣了。就繼續隱藏。說白了後果難測。維持現狀？莫名~
# posted by JwwT at
11:22 PM
Yay! Squad outing ystd :] Lots of stuff happened..both happy and unhappy ones...but lucky the unhappy ones turn out ok in the end. Cheer up ppl!
But squad outing is still fun on the whole. Went ECP to eat lunch at subway. Celebrated Bdays for the july babies!!! Wrote on all the cards (I think our squad got talent in making nice bdae cards :] hehe) Then went cycling. At first we were all quite split up..sigh..but luckily at the end everyone is back together, happy.
After cycling we went to Plaza Sing to eat dinner and watch movie. Watched Knight and Day..super funny can. Omg! Laughed like some ki siao person..espcially the one sitting on my right..(hmm you noe who you are :p)
Went home and found myself sunburnt. I was super red. haha. But I enjoyed my day! Thx squadmates for the wonderful outing :]
Got back chem paper today...as expected, dint do well but still can make it. But i dint really expect my section A to be like shit like that. I think i got a prob with answering structured qns...Need to buck up!
Econg lesson was quite interesting cos is ilp presentation. All the super duper funny videos..haha. And great! We got like 9/10!!! At least our effort paid off. We spent super lots of time on it can. And i spent super lots of time editing the video also..yay :]
And i broke a thermometer during phy lesson..sian..$2 fly away just like that...
My younger bro knocked his head with another person during his training...mum is going to bring him to the hospital.....
# posted by JwwT at
9:32 PM
Yo! Happy Birthday to
HOONG SHAO TING!!!!
又老了...真可憐 :p
And I think i influenced my family quite a lot..now they all like to eat yam bao :] Yay! Yam bao rox :]
# posted by JwwT at
6:06 PM
三年了。阿姨不在身邊的日子有三年之久了。
七月三日。還記得三年前的今天，星期二，噩耗竟然是从别人口中得知的。三年前的今天所發生的事，我想我一辈子都不會忘記。
那天早上，大约十点，正在上英文课。手机突然響起。因為我从来不把手机調至无声狀態，所以手機一響我就把它掛掉。響了兩次了吧。休息時間查看手機，是一個陌生的號碼打來的。因為是使用預付卡，所以沒有回電，而且手機也快沒電了。
放學後有 quiz training, 會到很遲。結果train 到一半，maam eileen 突然過來告訴我，我媽打來學校，要老師通知我阿姨去世了。我真的嚇倒了，眼淚也自動的留下來。當時 prisci and quiz trainers 都應該被我嚇倒了吧。因為手機沒電，所以用了 prisci 的電話打給老媽。老媽要我趕快到外婆家。
在巴士上，我真的好希望這一切是假的，但老媽不會開這種玩笑吧。到了外婆家，看見老哥和老弟好像沒事發生的模樣，然後外婆和外公在講電話。他們是在跟阿姨講電話，但很難過。我當時真的還在想也許阿姨還沒死。可是後來我才領悟到，他們是在跟“阿姨”講話。阿姨真的死了。
我連阿姨的最後一面都見不到。大家也是。阿姨身體一向不好，心臟有問題，能活過二十歲是奇跡，更何況是撐過四十。阿姨大概是知道自己快不行了，所以決定到外國旅游。對，就是異死他鄉。
阿姨就像我們的第二個媽媽，總是很關心我們。以前都是她幫我們補習。哥哥、弟弟和我能有今天的成就都得歸功與她。回想起當時她為我補習時我是有多么地討厭，不希望見到她。我錯了。人就是失去了才會後悔當初不懂得珍惜。
其實阿姨去世的兩年後我都沒有那么想她，只有新年是會覺得一切都不一樣了。可是不知為什么從今年開始就會想起她。最想念她的時候應該是二月時，pop 的前一天。我告訴韶明天想和上學前想她談談，結果早上起床聲音就沒了，只好擱在一邊。Pop 結束後，沒有跟同學出去，也沒有跟 squadmates 吃午餐，跟韶去 beauty world 吃午餐，拿校服。早上的情緒都快消失了。結果是在巴士上開口的。一開口，情緒就涌上心頭，竟然在巴士上哭了。
前一天突然懷念起她，回想我們的過去。可是越想越發現有好多記憶越來越模糊，越想越害怕，害怕失去與阿姨共同的回憶。這是我跟韶說的，也是我第一次把內心的話說出來。說出來了的確舒服許多，但這舉動也從此改變了我。
阿姨是讓我為她流過最多眼淚的。我真的還是無法面對生離死別。所以當時蔣茵的離開我會那么難過也許是因為阿姨的緣故吧。
我有時會怨：阿姨，你怎么能那么的殘忍，把我們丟下？去世時也沒能看見你，在我心中划上一道疤，讓我永遠遺憾？但世事難料。我悔不當初。
看完了zoe 借我的戲。我領悟了不少，也在反省。自從上了高中後，我不時會自我反省。也許是因為上了高中後，遇到了很多人，發現世界不是只在我身邊圍繞，不能在躲在那小小的溫室裏了。人，真的好複雜。
# posted by JwwT at
11:40 PM
YAY!!! Block tests are finally over!! 3 cheers! :]
Hah..but results come out liao dunno will look like shit or not, but don't care liao lah! Screwed up almost every single paper :p Hmmm..bio ppl, jia you tmr!!
And yay, went out tgt with classmates after chem paper. Finally i am not sitting down and watching ppl play pool..haha. I also dunno why everytime i just sit there...Den they went to watch Toy Story 3 and i came home to slp 3 hours!!!
And yay again! Hard core playing guitar after i woke up. Play until finger damn pain liao still playing :] Need to get use to acoustic guitar..And i havent go and plan for the home hopping for VGC :p die..
And the final YAY! Going zoe house tmr to celebrate the end of block tests! I am glad that we are still putting in effort in maintaining out friendship ever since we sort of separated after PSLE :] Chit chat..talk crap..watch tv and eat.. that's the only stuff we used to do tgt..but that is enough. It's the time spent tgt that is precious. And i shall start watching the Jap drama zoe lend me before blocks!
# posted by JwwT at
8:00 PM
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