Maybe ;p

2012-01-24T22:51:00.002+08:00

Holidays are over!!! need to start work tmr ><" cfm OT liao lol. 2 days nvr work the work will keep piling up. nvm OT more money!

And this is my workplace! wanna get a cactus :D

2012-01-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

新的一年，新的希望。

我希望大家健健康康，每一天都是快乐的一天。

我希望我不用饿肚子。

我希望今年会是精彩又充实的一年！

2012-01-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

Second day of working without my upper study. Lol I OTed for the past two days. Not becos I cannot finish my work, just that I was assigned another task beyond my job scope. And it's more fun cos can listen to convos of cs ppl with cust. Some convo damn funny lol. Made a thank you card for my upper study. He is damn nice and good at teaching (but also cos I learn very fast also :p) just that he smokes. Yea..den heard from another guy that he dint take the card cos he scared his gf see lol..ask me wat to do with it den I say just throw lor. Sad right..but at least the msg got to him. Mmhmm..so far so good...just that a bit sian to sit in front of comp whole day doing the same thing. Ppl say do temp admin not good cos got a lot of sai gang. But I think got sai gang do better. At least can walk walk arnd not so sian. So yup I guess I got a good job so far. Other temps also very nice.

2012-01-16T20:28:00.003+08:00

I dread to go to this place everyday - H.O.M.E

anyway, i started work last thu. not bad. my upper study very nice to me as compared to another new temp. the other colleagues also very nice and funny. at least i dun feel very awkward alrd. hope to do OTs and also finding tuition now. just want to occupy my nights with stuff because i really dun like to go to that place.

2012-01-07T21:24:00.005+08:00

Made sushi ystd!! :] and made pineapple tarts today!!! :D

Not my hand..my hand not so fat :P

完成品!

sighh too bad nvr take photo of the sushi ><" all gone in one day! thx to my bro...

2012-01-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

New PINK blog!! To welcome the New Year!!!

2012 here I come!!!!!!

2012-01-02T22:53:00.002+08:00

><" i broke my promise, had a stayover for countdown...so missed the blogging on that day.
kk, 2011 was quite an eventful year, right from the start. i rmb that i was facing a huge mental prob in feb. guess it was an annual cycle, cos j1 that time also like that in feb.
2011, the start of j2, starting the 10-mth long journey to A level. besides that, there are a few moments that were definitely very memorable - good ones and bad ones. hmmm i think i shld use this post to sum up my jc life instead. i went back and looked at all my post from jan 2010 till dec 2011. most of them are either my emoing post or abt studies.
i really put in a lot of effort to make my jc life meaningful. afterall, there are only 2 years. tried my best to make as many friends as i could. for someone as quiet as me, i really tried hard to open up myself. and perhaps due to my boyish personality, i made more new boy friends, and get along with them better than the girls. maybe also becos i really enjoy bball too :D love playing bball with them! but as j2 approaches, i played a lot lesser, i more scared to play with guys, cos they are really much better and they have to keep playing cautiously cos of the girl. i scared i made the game boring.
j2 was really not as fun as j1. my life was less crazy, w/o s6z, and with some prob with friendship. really had a tough time that period of time, but as i get through it, i will get stronger. and that i had found a new support. and yes, i am more close to teachers in jc than in ny. just joking arnd with them and talking crap. maybe cos it is a mixed sch, so i got influenced by the guys. in ny, almost all students treat the teachers with respect and rarely joke with them. but yea, in jc, i wasnt really scared of teachers, they are humans like us at the end of the day.
i got the chance to go thru 2 interviews in jc. though not really very formal, at least i dun really feel nervous during the interviews. i guess it's a good training for scholarship and uni interviews. yup, so when i went for the interview for my job, i was quite calm and just talked comfortably with my not-so-good english.
anw, the agency gave me the wrong date to report to work..damn lousy...and then all of them go on hol after screwing up my job..only replied me today to tell me the correct day to report to work...pro lah. retarded.

look forward to the meal date :]

2011-12-26T20:21:00.003+08:00

MERRY BELATED XMAS!!!

lol quite lazy to blog :P shall write a long post on the last day of 2011 to do some reflections and conclusion.

enjoyed playing for the past 20++ days :) though fell quite sick for abt a week. happy moments are over!!! Gotta start working tmr liao...got a job at starhub, doing admin work. yuppy yupp...no more time go play play liao...also no money go play play le ><" spent a lot a lot those few days le...need earn $$ to spend again!

looking forward to pri class dinner and OCIP countdown :D

2011-12-13T23:46:00.003+08:00

ystd officially marks the end of my jc life...kinda sad, but still, we have to move on in life.

sick these few days...so shall write long post ltr..

bye 6A, we'll rmb each other in our hearts and fb photos! shld have taken a class shot during prom ><

2011-10-26T00:26:00.002+08:00

Not long after I got on my bed, I heard this ominous loud bang that broke the silence in the middle of the night. At first I thought the sound came from the constuction site just opposite my house, perhaps smth heavy fell from a height. but I was feeling uneasy. I looked out of my window and saw the security guards outside looking at the road. It must have been a car accident, I thought. having been a first aider from sjab, I just couldn't sit still(lie still) and do nth. The thought of guilt just filled my head if I just cont to stay in bed and pretend nth had happened.
So I quickly changed wore a jacket and went out to check the situation. I could see a badly deformed car 'embedded' in a lamp post. I felt relieved when I didn't see anyone lying on the road. as I walk nearer, I could see a guy squating beside the car on the pavement. as I was abt to appraoch him, a passer by asked him if he were the driver and whether he was ok. He answered yes to both qns. I guess he was ok as I dun see injuries, so I headed back home.
On my way back, I saw ppl in my estate taking photo. some even had smiles on them. I was really puzzled. why are they behaving like this? its ok if they dun help, but why a smile? wats wrong with our society? A few min after I was home, I could hear the sirens from the police car. I was really relieved by then. I guess the driver was taken away before it started to rain.
The incident was over, but I was reflecting abt my actions. maybe I shld have stayed thr until relevant authorities arrived. I shld have also checked if they were called, becos I just assumed they were, since it was quite a while ltr after the accident when I arrived. I guess I wasn't really fulfilling my duties. although the driver is in safe hands now, I think I could have done more so that I could be assured of his safety.
Nevertheless, I suspect that the driver drank before he drived. but I guess I shldnt pass any judgement since I wasn't sure abt the exact situation. it was all from my deduction as I observed the scene. (Detective conan fan here)
Yea, but anyway, I guess singaporeans are still morally better than some of the ppl in *****. Despite having ppl just watching *the show*, at least there are ppl who offered help. I could see a man calling for the police or ambulance when I looked out of my window. conversely, the recent news abt a 3 yr old girl being hit by a van in some part in ***** revealed the ugly side of some ppl. 18 passerbys walked pass the little victim who was lying in a pool of blood without any reactions. It was the 19 th passerby (a garbage collector) who moved her to the side of the road, after the girl was ran over twice. So..a life is treated like garbage? when u litter, hardly any passerby will help u pick it up and throw it in the rubbish been, except the road sweeper. isn't it the se case here then?

2011-10-17T20:50:00.003+08:00

Independence
Self-sustainability

pls grant them to me asap..

2011-10-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

Time flies.
Not long ago, it was prelim period.
Now, the review of papers are done.
We are only left with approximately 1 month to the start and 2 months to the end of the annoying war.

Prelims totally screwed. If not for moderations, i will die like never before.
GP is still quite hopeless. Econs is not any better.

I know I have to work hard. It's the last lap alrd.
But im really sick of studying. I abhhor it.

For once I really felt motivated to improve my GP, so i accepted to have 2 tuitions willingly.
But i really dun like GP. I can understand how people feel when they really cant make it for other subjects like math. It is just annoying right? D****t.

2011-08-29T21:32:00.003+08:00

Can you pls stop stressing about gp? Is not that I dunno wat I can do to improve. do you have to keep repeating and saying wat I alrd know? is not that I dun want to improve. Can you stop stressing me? I want to try my best too. but with you keep nagging abt it, I will really start hating that subject. I've alrd done wat you wished me to - keep going to tuition..study gp and only gp. I went to tuition at 6 and return late at night, and go for another tuition again the next day. I'm not superman. I'll get tired too. I haven't been slping well these few day. keep having dreams. I can still rmb I dreamt abt nuclear technology last night. So can you pls stop wat you are doing?

2011-08-23T20:56:00.002+08:00

Dear body, please don't fall sick now. GP prelim is just in 8 days time...

2011-08-15T00:24:00.000+08:00

Let me cry to slp

2011-08-04T18:46:00.003+08:00

Just now, I watched my father extracting copper wires out from those insulated wires, and coiling them up. He said that that could earn him some money. As I watched him do that, I was saddened. He was an engineer last time. A senior manager in an telecommunication company. He lost his job, and could not find a new one. He ended up like this. Every morning he woke up earlier than me and my brother. I am not sure what he was doing, but I could guess it somehow. Once, I saw him coming back with a bag of newspapers.
My dad had been collecting stuff from outside and bring them back so that he could sell them to earn some money. Everytime he does something like this, he does it stealthily, for fear that my mum would find out what he is doing. Sometimes I do feel embarrassed by my dad. However, as I watched him just now, I thought that my dad was just trying his best to earn an income for us. How much courage does he need to put down his dignity to do this kind of stuff? I will not be ashamed by him anymore. He is a responsible dad who is trying his best for our survival.
I will spend my money more carefully. I hope to alleviate my dad's situation when I am able to go out to work. I hope that my brothers understand my father's situation too and be considerate.

2011-07-23T17:41:00.002+08:00

Bad mood
Got back bt result le..ok lah not bad. improvement from previos bt..just that now no A at all..gp still sux..sigh..maybe I shld consider getting gp tuition? since I got not enuf motivation to study gp myself..perhaps I shld get some monitoring..sigh..tot I could survive jc without tuition de..damn lousy lah..
bro flying back today..guess I'm really lousier than my bro.

2011-07-05T15:20:00.002+08:00

><" i dunno why but i feel like my stamina to study dropped like crazy...find it so difficult to concentrate and study now. really need to find a conducive environment. if not will die for As. keep losing concentration...keep procrastinating...keep getting distracted...sighh...dun like studying liao lah...crazy crazy...

2011-06-21T12:27:00.002+08:00

I shld be contented with life. shldnt be so 悲观 everytime. 虽然比上不足,但比下有余。 cannot always be so unhappy abt life right? There are more ppl out thr who are less fortunate than me. at least I got shelter, got the opportunity to study, got a new phone, got friends to be the for me, got squadmates who will support me..kk shall brainwash myself with these so that I can be a happier person and wun get so emo everytime I had setbacjs :)
忍一是风平浪静, 退一步海阔天空。不要太在意别人怎么看你。只要相信自己和爱你的人。因为只有你自己和他们才是最了解你的 :) 其他人对你的指指点点不需去理会,无益处。伤神。
kk believe in myself and let's go MUG!!!

2011-06-19T20:02:00.002+08:00

Great! Only one week left...I am only sort of done with phy..chem haven't finish..econ math gp haven't touch at all..wah damn pro liao...
hmm but one good thing is that I super long nvr on comp liao. great achievement..but lol got this new phone that I'm using now to blog is quite a distraction for me...~_~"
bro is coning back from aus tmr!! Lol our family no one go fetch him :p so lucky him.. got a gf :) 修来八辈子的福 lol
kk one week left nia..cannot study finish one..but I will CHIONG AH!!!

2011-06-05T10:47:00.005+08:00

...i nvr come home eat, she cook...i come home to eat, she dun cook... i think she wun cook nvr come home eat, she cook...i come home to eat, she dun cook cos she thinks she cook no one come home eat so dun want cook liao...
...viscious cycle...

大家一起做仙吧！
~_~"
the day before nvr go home eat den she got cook. den complain she cook no one cme back eat. sms at 6 she only cook rice nia. den ystd before go lesson ask me wat time come back i say right after lesson. reached home at 4..wait wait wait~~~until 6 hungry liao nvr see her go cook. wait wait wait~~~ 7 liao. wait wait wait~~~ 8 liao.. nvr go cook. ya 故意的啊？ i come home so early wait for ur dinner dun want cook right? fine~ i go slp lah.
8 plus go on bed want slp...after 3 hrs still cannot slp cos got this stupid mozzie in my room, make me cant slp and snooze... 終于有點睡意了，den she come in 開 karaoke..wah dun need slp liao lah.. go living room lie on sofa...go back room again at 12 finally can slp.
woke up at 930..totally dun feel energised at all. the brain feels no rest. wanted to slp early last night so that today got jing shen can study. in the end it's a lose-lose situation. wasted 4 hrs last night. now still feel tired but cant fall back aslp. retarded.
last night got super heavy thunderstorm. the thunder roar like crazy. totally feels like the world is going to end soon. sighh at that pt in time i totally dun mind if the world is going to collapse at that instant. at least i can die in my slp and really 成仙了。

watched this dunno 中國德教 show on the chnl 8 kiddy showtime. yea..talking abt 孝道. siigghhh not like i dun want to be 孝順 but 做人做到這樣我想孝順也很難吧？ppl 孟宗's mother so nice that's why he crazy crazy 大冬天 go 挖竹筍 for his mother. sighh dunno lah sian.

finished H3 test on thurs. finally the journey of H3 ended. but seriously the test started 30 min late ~_~" and it's suppose to be an A lvl exam..and my mum come back from thailand that day nvr bring hse key. i told my bro to be at home at that time liao. but how i know he not at home? den now she blame me why nvr tell her i got exam that day when she called back to tell me she got no key when she left. and blame me nvr convey msg properly. as if i noe my bro retard not at home? and as if if i tell her i got exam she will come back take key is it? siao. how i now my exam start late? if not i alrd at home waiting to open door for her lah wth.
seriously.. finish H3 suppose to be happy de. 被她這樣一搞 i totally pmsing liao. i totally enjoyed the 4 days she not at home. peace. i can slp in peace too. dun need worry abt dinner cos i noe i need to settle it myself. wah she come home totalyl become so noisy. 一回來就 nag. lucky my bro not at home lah. i have to endure it all by myslef. i totally allergic to her voice. freak! why cant i like other ppl will miss their mums when they are not arnd? i also want to tell be able to tell ppl i love my mum...my fault ah? si mi sai..this is crazy.

2011-05-20T23:39:00.003+08:00

****!!! seriously i dun think i can stand it anymore. think my tolerance had reached its limits.
how can a parent scold his/her children with vulgarities when they've only make a minute mistake? not like they committed a crime right?? or cause their parent to lose $10?? wth?!?!
本來還想說謝謝你十月懷胎的。但現在會覺得為什么要受這種苦把我生下來讓我受苦。
I am so going to work hard, get my As, build up my portfolio, get a scholarship and get into uni and live in the dorm..ASAP! before i really breakdown and go crazy. i noe there's smth wrong with me alrd.
but anyway, i still love my dad. for the first time, he heard my struggles and comforted me.
anyway, thx ppl for wishing me happy birthday. though i wasn't that happy lol..as usual..like last yr ><" paiseh ppl...i've got a sad life. maybe not really that..but the idea is there.

2011-05-15T23:31:00.002+08:00

woah...dint know i dint blog for so long le..time really flies~
got 3 stuff due on lst tues..quite crazy..h3 report, h3 test and econ test..think econ test gg liaozzz...
Had CSM last fri..not bad, as compared to past years..seriously..this yr got some sports carnival thing, better than sitting down there watching some 'ants' running here and there dunno wat they doing LOL. Love the class spirit :] i believed everyone had fun xD bball was really damn fun, not only cos i super long nvr play team game liao, but also almost everyone in the class participated to trash smpt class :P damn zai lah 6A whoosh!!
Sigh...plap havent end sia...cos we missed 3 sessions due to GE, they go add 3 more ~_~" argh gahh...
LOL and my mum found out liao :P decided to admit it since i tot she was in a good mood then, strike 4d 2nd price sia, not good mood cai guai LOL. but yea, i will do my best to study hard still..though now still slacking like shit ><" shall study more in sch..cos at homne really cmi. Kampatei!!!

2011-04-28T21:17:00.002+08:00

i came to know why i was made to think this way. cos i was groomed to be like that.
“你不要跟别人比，自己要有一定的 standard.”
no wonder i was damn disappointed in myself when i got back my chem results.
有其母必有其女。
my mum received my BT results today..ya..i havent told her yet. She asked my to explain to her why my results were like that. "Except for math, WT's grades have deteriorated." That's was my CT's comment. 虽然要我给理由，但根本没有要接受的意思。一切都是借口。那为何还要问我？想看我怎么找借口吧？
对，我也觉得一切都是借口，但也是事实。
My Grades were bad, but compare to the whole cohort?
There's only march hols and maybe a few weeks b4 to study..and not like the topics were only that few? econs was like the whole syllabus. How can you compare my BT results to my EOYs?
The papers are definitely more difficult. Promos paper are meant for you to promote=>easier
J2s topic harder??
I tried to listen to you, study more of econs and touch less of PCM..and yes, this is the result.
And ya, i only told her the first reason..and she rebutted it straight away..no pt continuing.
Yes i am disappointed in myself. you think i'm unaffected by it?
每次都是这样。嘴里说一套，事情发生了有又是另外一回事。考试前叫我不要读到那么辛苦，说我可以的，结果成绩不理想又怪我。
还记得小时候有一次电子琴考试。从考场出来后我知道一定考不好。她安慰我说不要紧，尽力就好。结果成绩出来了。骂我。怪我。我记得那是我第一次在回家的路上自己走掉，离开她的视线。但她也没担心过。
我努力读书时她知道吗？只有成绩出来时她才“知道”。
老哥用了老爸的棺材本到澳洲留学，老妈的棺材本留给老弟。我只好自己努力，拿奖学金，不然还是去哪里打工算了。 Now i dun even feel like telling her my PW result and H3 test 1 result. She cfm just say, PW not impt one, H3.. ur H2 more impt. Make sure ur H2 can make it den care abt H3 lah. Ya..wat's the pt? If there is only one thing that i can keep, it is not my bed, not my comp, but my electone.

2011-04-18T19:37:00.002+08:00

YO! I'M BACK AFTER SYF!!! HAHAHA!!!
hmmm syf was a memorable experience. though we only got silver (there's like only 1 sch with GWH and 1 sch gold), but we treasured our time tgt as 1 MCS and how we work towards a common goal tgt :] we all know that we are of gold standards lah :P MCS damn zai one!
Done with syf...need to catch up with work. this block test damn screwed up ><" need to manage my time and work better.
Everything is going well now..rest enuf liao shall chiong!! though got PLAP now...but ya, i will kampatei!! hahahaha!!! need to tidy up my room now :P

~happy~

2011-04-03T11:52:00.003+08:00

utterly unproductive for the whole week. no heart and brain power to do work. die. how to catch up with work now?
damn cui now liao. both mentally and physically exhausted. lack slp for the past whole week. cca extend to 8pm. now even sat also got cca. seriously...how to find time to ~~slp~~ do work sia? ><" maybe i shld just heck everything until syf is over? but that is like..need to catch up with work like siao...sighh...still need to gao ding talentime...abt to go out for talentime meeting to settle our performance le..bye~
dont need study today liao~~~~~

2011-03-30T19:13:00.003+08:00

wah siao..that post was freaking long. anyway, damn long nvr blog abt my own life liao.
last night went home..mum not feeling well..cua me lah...she lying on my bed 呻吟ing..say the chest and stomach there pain...pain for 10 min liao..and say is not the first time...got once it happened in her office...worry for her..but still like wth?? lao ma in pain for 10 min and no one else noe..
stayed beside her for abt half an hour..until she felt better. i had to thank shao for wat she told me before. it does feel different. of course i find it hard to do it at first, but still did it :] and i think i made a right choice. hope she go for a check up soon. anyway, ah gor, if u read this, maybe u can go ask her to take care of herself, think she will be happy.
got back chem..disappointed in myself. but wat can i expect when i did last min work? sighh..the accuracy is not there..lacked practise..and why is this so? spend most of my time on econ..and why? cos slack too much when studying econ..HEY! IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!!!
Yes, no more electone exam in june..and this yr...teacher asked me after lesson if i was going to take the exam in june..cos the application closes 3 days later..sighh...i cant...i noe my standard. why waste the $$ it is freaking ex.
and yes zoe, i finished ur song long time ago...b4 ur bday..but need lyrics..and u noe...hehe..it's not my forte...so need time :p now test finish liao..i catch up with work and syf den jiu help u 填詞 slowly k?? forgive me... :p haha but if u want hear sample den tell me lah..i send u the melody :] i think is damn nice LOL :P
oh ya..forgot to post abt block test also..but jiu...test until very cui now lor...sigh..dun really expect myelf to do well this time le. ><" but i need this test to prove myself and to my mum sia...gg...
oh and h3 test ystd..no that diff but..but...joke sia..do do do..check check check.."5 more min left" flip paper over want rest..den O.O?!?!?! GG got 1 whole page nvr do!!!!!! good job man. CHIONG AH!!!!!!! ya..jiu zhe yang lor...
hmmm that shld be all bah. syf coming up soon...hiong cca...4apr got reh at UCC..14 apr is actual. JY MCS! GOLD WITH HONOURS!!!!!!!!

2011-03-30T17:51:00.003+08:00

我從來就不喜歡解釋任何我的所做所為。我會做一件是當然是有原因的。但我不喜歡解釋，因為那有點像在找借口維護你自己的行為。但有時因情況而異。為了不然我不解釋的行為而產生無畏的誤會，我選擇澄清。
at least this was wat i tot when i decided to write an apology letter to ms chua that time. i dun want a teacher who cared so much for me to be disappointed in me and lose the trust in me. this time i called to clarify matters is becos i do not want complications, which apparently had alrd occurred.

i took up the post, not becos of the testimonial, but is to protect him and the rest from being shot. as a first aider, i know i can heal myself. at least this was wat i tot to be the best solution.
i had nvr wanted this post. econg nvr approach me to ask me if i want it. she approach lk, he rejected. she approached xx, he rejected. she as xx to go find another person, he go find lk. den lk ask him find me, den i asked cm. nobody freaking wanted that post. why? one of the reason is, as quoted by cm, "i dun want to get hated". of course, the person who's freaking going to take up that bloody post is going to get hated to the core. who wants it?
But there was no choice. econg had alrd made her decision. she wanted lk to be. i could i let this happen? so yes, i volunteered to take up the post. the angel in u may choose to believe wat i said above. but the devil may be thinking, "yea right? got so nice ah huh? cfm is for the testimonial one lah? who doesnt want it? why will econg, with no reason, ask a treasurer to help her collate who's going for psc make up?"
That's wat i wanted to know to. why did she ask me to do it when lk was asst ct that time? i dint even know she asked me to do it until he told me cos econg sent me a msg to my old phone no. is like wth?? why me? how i noe sia...

den the devil starts speaking again, "平時夠乖啦！want to get her attention right?"
to be 乖 is wat a student shld do. and i not that 乖 anyway...i just do wat i tot is right. to attend lesson punctually, to study, ans qns..wat wrong with that? i believe that's how i can managed my studies..

devil: but still do so much stuff to AA...
yes, i did stuff that may be beyond wat i shld do as just a member of the class. but that was to help my leaders. i wrote this in my speech for MCS elections - I do hope to be given a chance, but if someone more deserving were to be appointed instead, I will also do my best as a member to help the Exco. i merely wanted to help out my class leaders. i am just happy enuf to be a member in the class. i had nvr liked to be a monitor for a class. you can ask shao ting how much i hate it. and yes, even if i am not the monitor, i will still do my best to help her if she needs help, esp when she is ur fren..like wat i did to shao ting in sec 4.

If all i did was for the testimonial, den i would have done that a long time ago..i would run for ct rep in j1, i would accept the offer when econg asked me to replace the asst ct in j1..why would i only do it now? everything..it was econg who approaches me. to replace u as asst ct rep last yr, to replace brandon as treasurer this yr. this time, i was left with no choice but to volunteer myself.
And why would i want to be the ct rep when i am alrd so busy and stressed up? H3, PLAP, SYF...i had to go home late almost evryday now.. 干嘛要不自量力？做事要量力而為。但我別無選擇。一旦接受了，我會保証我會做到。if it is beyond my limit, i will stretch my limits.

I believed i posted smth regarding this issue b4, as of 12 apr 2010: "That's why i have decided to give up on any leadership posts in JC. I know this is a super bad idea as it can really damage my portfolio...but life is not just about building up portfolio, is it? At least that was what i tot. But realty is cruel. It forces you to change or work against your principles. I need a good portfolio to get a chance to obtain a scholarship, to lessen the burden of my family...but it requires me to oppose my principles...*in dilemma* I don't want to build up my portfolio for the sake of building it up. It is so fake. It is not the true you when people look at ur portfolio..so wat's the point? I want a portfolio that reveals the true me, with my passion."
I know my passion does not lie in being a class monitor. why force myself to do that? i had no choice when i weigh the pros and cons and insist on protecting who is impt to me.

I hate it when after econg annouced it to the class, she linked it back to testimonial again. i nvr liked to do stuff for testimonial, that's why i hate the sg education system. but even if i had to, i wun do it this way. i will just jolly well start a SL project.
If i really want a good testimonial, i wun be a nobody in class; i wun be without a post for OCIP; i wouldnt reject the offer when i was offered to be the sectres for OCIP. lols...when i was even asked abt that, i was like "hehe no.." i could reject it as if i dun gve a heck abt it. dun believe go ask anyone u noe in that OCIP. even if i am a nobody, i still did my best for the sake of the whole group of ppl. esp when i was in the log team for OCIP. who can see wat i did when i was just a member of a team? quite hard ah..but i still did. it was for the benefit for the whole grp. things have to be done.

when it comes to a point that there was even a slightest moment that u had once doubted my integrity, it shows that there is really smth wrong with our friendship. of course i would hope that we can still remain as wat we was in the past, but even if we could go back, it will be somehow different alrd. as for now, 我不想用熱臉去貼冷屁股。那感覺很糟。也許我們都需要時間。
it is hard to pull ppl up, but easy to pull them down. when econg first told me abt this, and later linked it to finding spouse etc..the first person i tot was you. maybe u nvr felt like i was trying to pull u up, but i did try. maybe i failed. but yes, even if i was pulled down by this, i will make sure i will climb back up.
and i told myself, 就算有在大的事發生在朋友身上，我都會幫他們頂。這是我的性格。我無所畏懼。因為我相信我有那個能力和能耐。所以我會選擇保護大家。
and yes, last thing. the sms that i sent that night, was before i read ur post and before i knew i was going to be ct rep.

of course the devil may still be there, "你現在要說什么都可以啦。一切都發生了。講到好像很偉大...偽善者..貓苦老鼠..shedding crocs tears..."
如果真的那么想，我會選擇嗤之以鼻

2011-03-29T23:29:00.002+08:00

~~伪善者~~
我只是想保护他。
If you think that you need time and want me to ~~f off~~ keep any distance, i will jolly well do so.
I know anything i say now will definitely be doubtful. So i shant say much.
要说的该说的我都说了。要相信多少就看这一年的友谊到底值多少。
但我能保证，你说的，要我相信的，我都会像从前一样选择相信。

2011-03-19T22:41:00.004+08:00

GAH! Confirm can't study finish for blocks de.....This march holz...not effecient sia ><" Haven't finish econs notes...havent go memorise it...and the rest of the subjects..haven't really touch on them yet...GG!
But this blocks must really kao hao hao...must prove to my mum that i can do it! AND I WILL! WE WILL! so last day..must chiong like siao liao lol...if this test nvr do well ah...i dunno wat will happen lol. ~~KAMPATEI!!~~ GAMBATTE!!
hmmm...SYF day confirm liao..14 april..that's like less abt 3 weeks?!?! and got rehearsal at UCC on 4 april..and after blocks...everyday is a CCA day!! except for wed...hiong liao...must jia you! first time participating in SYF..once in a lifetime experience. quite cool lol. hope can win gold or better :]
and yay! got in PLAP!!! LOL damn tyco i think :P hmmm but i think the interview was quite alright..think i getting better le..and cos this time got prepare, not like the OCIP one..go there talk crap only..and not very formal also..hope my interview skills can improve also..need to get a scholarship for uni!!!
sighh.......got curfew now...zi zhao de...........damn sian.........but ya..going home early is not a bad thing also..........but jiu........sigh.........and now my mum is like damn sarcastic......wth...........get home early jiu say.wah today so early ah.......fine lah~ u want me come home late issit?????? ~_~"
hmm and i think i wont be taking my electone exam this year le bah....cos if need take this year jiu need take in june...but dun think i will have enuf time to prac...esp now got SYF + PLAP + need to study....so....shall hone my impro skills for another year...den after A lvl still got 6 months to prac more hiong-ly...hope i can pass with one try ><" though it's like quite impossible...cos today my teacher say he failed 3 times...wth?? he is freaking pro....but still failed 3 times?!?! sigh.........ya..either waste exam fees or lesson fees lah...
last but not least...some stuff happened to classmates and teachers in the past few weeks...ya i agree that he shld fight for the issue regarding integrity. i also can't stand teachers or anyone else who doubt my integrity...not even when the teacher take my phone away when i just placed it on the table...it is seriously super insulting for me. and i did post smth very long ago...abt a teacher who really put me off...ya, but hope that he can control the way he fight for it and not blow the matter up too big. afterall, she is still our teacher and the CT to write our testimonials. But one point that i disagree is that no matter wat the teacher did, we shldnt scold vulgarities at the teacher...we shld still leave some respect for her. like not scolding f word or anything super insulting. even when i scold teacher, i wont be so extreme..and i think we shld still have some respect for them. and ya...i think u shld also noe, and think u noe alrd..that this whole matter started becos u were in the wrong first...so..still...even though the integrity matter is her fault, but wat sparked off the whole issue is becos u were late mah..so try to understand her also bah...
ya... but i really hate the sch's system..the hierarchy that we had to follow...it sux! even though i enjoy going to sch, but i really hate the sch system...sigh....but ya, hope u win the fight for ur integrity, but still make sure that it is within control :]

2011-03-09T19:50:00.005+08:00

IN A DAMN AIRFING BAD MOOD NOW! WTH?!
dunno is i pmsing or she pmsing. Just now still can talk talk abt her work stuff, talk until mood not bad de, atmosphere not bad, den later jiu ki siao liao. Ask me use my comp check her email, den mess up the pile of work that i piled up still say i messy. Den jiu keep nagging and nagging and nagging. say wat i damn messy..even my bro's better than me...以後沒有人要。 yes, throughout my whole life she dunno say how many times le. 我以後沒有人要。 i have been psyched to believe this. ya, why would ppl value me? i had asked this qn and got reply that cos it is me. but ya, it is this me that my mum thinks that 我沒人要。為什么會有人要我？
也許要我的人不懂的真正的我。
或者是不要我的人覺得自己很了解我。
或許，我也不知道自己到底是怎么樣的一個人。
為什么其他人會要我，會夸獎我，但我的親人卻覺得我沒人要，還是不要我？
也許，親人指的不是最親密的人。
睡在同一間房又何妨？
同住在一個屋檐下又何妨？
同流著一條血脈又何妨？
朝夕相處幾年又何妨？
好想重新活過我的人生。表面成功，但其實活得很失敗。
好想回到小時候。但回到了，一切就會不一樣嗎？若要重新經歷一樣的東西，叫我去死好了。
我知道現在的我不應該這樣想，但還是會懷疑。因為未來是個未知數。

2011-03-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

went out for lunch with family today! ate a lot..slept right after that ><" fattening.... but enjoyed lunch with them.
for some reason or another, i felt like i have matured. quite a lot. maybe it's becos my edler bro abandoned us..i meant flew to aus to study..i think i start to become more responsible and want to take care of my family more. talked to my mum on the way to the restaurant (cos the car cannot fit so many ppl so i volunteered to take mrt) yea...talked abt wat's happening recently, the interview and uni..i believ she still believe in me. think she is worried that i would be too busy. but well...i should be able to cope, with studies, H3, SYF, PLAP if i got in..and ahem :p
yea..den during lunch..dunno leh..jiu feel like i need to take care for everyone de gan jue. switching seats, helping them asking and ordering food. dunno leh..last time jiu just care for myself..eat wat i want...but now, will care for them, ask wat they want, help them. ppl do grow up when placed in certain circumstances. maybe not only cos my bro was away that made me more caring, but perhaps becos i was cared for recently and enjoyed it, so i want to reciprocate it to my family and ppl around me too.
and yes, this is my retarded bro LOL. the choptick was from the restaurant and he used it to kiap his hair LOL. RETARDED HAHAHAHA!!! den he also used it to play the human reaction time game with my cousin. joke.

oh, and video convoed with my elder bro today. sang happy bday song for my mum..which was long overdued ><" but still sing liao..and she's still happy lah :]

and wanted to talk abt this but keep forgetting. it's abt my education, teacher and teaching. wat sparked me to think abt this again is cos of one incident that happed last wed. dear A***n L*w, our dear phy tutor, left the class becos some students dint manage to finish their assignment or shld i say, show a sincere attempt in doing them. so he wanted the class to spend time doing during lesson and call him back after that. this..was nth wrong yet. cos i think there's no pt going thru the tut since other's havent do. but it was wat he said the really......made me think that there's smth wrong with our education..maybe not education for the students, but for the teachers.
he said smth along those lines: if ppl from (another class) can finish, if some ppl from our class can finish the assignd homework, and even went further, i dont see why the rest of you cannot.
yes. here's the prob. comparing a class to another class standards has always been a lao mao bing of many teachers. perhaps they think that this will spur the class to do better, but i beg to differ. perhaps it's becos this generation of student do not accept this kind of 激将法 anymore. we are a generation who requires 爱的教育.
also, how can teachers compare student to student? isnt it obvious that diff ppl have diff abilities, and that you cant just make comparison base on diff basis. it is an unfair comparison. for example, a cleverer student requires a lot lesser time to complete his tuts while a student struggling to even understand the concepts will obviously need a lot more time to do his tut. so this isnt really abt the case of time management alrd. it is just one cannot finish his work within that given period. and he has so much more subjects to do too. so comparing students is really a wrong move. even since very long ago, 孔子 also know abt this logic, and come up with 因材施教. so why does teachers who went thru NIE not know abt this simple logic?
furthermore, that teacher of us was only 6 yrs older than us. he had beed thru was we are going thru not too long ago. i think that he shld have similar sentiments when he was in JC. also, students nowadays are really more busy. they have so much stuff to cope. 6 yrs can make a huge diff in the amt of stress students are facing now. yes, there's smth called the H3 (which at his 年代 still dun have). and students have to be involved in many activities to build up their portfolios and the competition now is more intense as compared to 6 yrs ago. but why is he doing smth that students dont like to us? perhaps he was just desperate. afterall, A lvl is this yr, and that every teacher hopes that their classes can obtain good results, which perhaps give them comfort and let them have confidence in themselves that they are good teachers.
but wat students really require is not a teacher only good in teaching, but a teacher who can inspire them to study. isnt that wat is portrayed in many advertisement for recruiting teachers? yes, to inspire. a teacher will be more sucessful than her other colleges if she can inspire her students instead of just ensuring they have good results.
so, is there a prob with the education teachers are going thru? in this fast changing world, everything is changing. the MOE keeps changing the education for students, changing syllabus for students, but have they tot that they may also need to change the syllabus for teachers too? so as to suit the needs of the newer generations of students? perhaps this is smth that MOE shld really address.
of course, all these are just my own opinions on these little incident, and other ppl may beg to differ. but, i've made my pt.

2011-03-05T23:41:00.002+08:00

Happy since last week :] though i was really quite worried for 女兒. guess that was the first time i cried for her, and anyone else. but i believe/know that she is strong, and i will always be there for her.
lol ATHENA owned this yr lah!! won so many stuff liao...class performance, war games, fac dance and now, dramafest!!! LOL must be the FOS make us zhuan yun one :p
it's a new experience. and i treasure it. happy for every moment.
because i'm with u :]

2011-02-27T17:19:00.003+08:00

many things had happened in the past week. actually not a lot also, just that wat happened was significant enuf to affect a lot of other stuff.
yes maybe i really dun understand, but actually i do to some extent, but wat u did made me feel like u do not trust me for how i would behave after everything. i believe i still noe how to prioritise things and not neglecting other ppl who are impt to me as well. so why are u feeling it this way..perhaps if u were the one who experience it first, den it would had been different.
maybe i really take things for granted, that some ppl wont get wat i had, that may be why i want a limit to it. maybe it is really that me and u are just diff. becos normally ppl give ppl wat they want to others instead of giving ppl wat they actually want. maybe that is why u dun get wat u really want and i get too much of wat i need. i'll try to change since i noe that this is the prob, but it cant be forced upon. but think of it positively, maybe that can help change me and allows me to give u wat u want more. that's all of wat i can say for now.
anyway, i hope to improve myself to be a better person who deserves ur improvements :]

2011-02-20T17:01:00.002+08:00

strive on.
even when all odds are against u.
even when no one believes u.
u have to believe in urself.
find ur own motivation.
even when there's still none.
no belief, no motivation.
just continue to strive on.
like how u used to be.
u will just get used to it.
at least
believe u have the strength to
strive on.

2011-02-19T21:09:00.004+08:00

AHo got a nice side too :]
smsed teachers to inform them abt my new hp no.
AHo: Thx for the info. just want to tell u not to be discouraged :) improvement will come but you need to believe you can do it :)
Me: :) thank you. i am putting in effort and hope that my mum can believe i am able to improve someday.
AHo: Your mum believes you can, but perhaps it's being masked by her concern for you. you have to be patient with her.
Me: sure. maybe i was just hoping that she could have more confidfence in me.
AHo: That will happen when the improvements come :)
Me: yea. looking forward to blk test :x maybe we can go on a date someday. i mean..a consult :p
AHo: Lolz! we shld have at least 1 consult way before blk test 1 :) if you dont have time to see me regularly, there's always email, you can drop me a note, ask me qns in class. maximise all opportunities :)
Me: ya. i will be asking for a consult soon, since i received back my InI. and abt my recent essay and compre test. and maybe also past year work too.
AHo: Cool! [signal to end convo??]
ya...true that i need more patient with my mum.
maybe it's just that we got diff expectations for one another. and that she wants me to read her mind? but i need her to spell out explicitly. so who shld accomodate who? obvious...
for your entertainment~
alvin: thx wt. you weren't in class today. hope you're ok?
me: yup. just down with a slight fever this morning.
alvin: good. drink more water and recover faster!
LOL joke!
hmmm hope my bro is doing well in aus also. heard he sian sian thr. talk to him he also sian sian. but sch is starting soon!! just one more day of sianness and u can make more frens liao. have fun! but study hard too :]
ohya, i changed my no. so if you want ask me. if not jiu maybe u think thr's no pt to stay in contact so can heck also.
hope i dun go blind ><"

2011-02-19T19:52:00.005+08:00

ptm ystd. damn sian. listen until pekcek. but still need to hold up that smile for show and laugh laugh a bit.. cant possibly bang the table and walk away right? why is it that teachers got the faith and trust that u will do well, but ur very own parent dont?
am i really that not trustworthy to yall?
cant i expect some motivations, concerns and comfort from u? for so many years i have been pushing myself up. i am tired. why cant i get some encouragement? i am already putting in more effort. why cant i get some confirmation?
ya i am living in self denial. cos i cant get any confirmation.
watever shit! i got a bloody econ test next tues. if u are just going to leave me there to die, i will prove that i will climb up of that bloody shit myself.
if i cant just let me die.
dun bother abt me. and i wont bother you.

2011-02-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

these few days a bit cui, cos nvr slp well. so slept a lot since ystd . better liao, but still...slpy...lol.
ya sry for making ppl worry abt me..seeing me so cui in class :p hope will get better next week :] thx everyone for their concerns.
shall rest well today and chiong econ this wkend!

getting back hold of myself.
regretted collapsing.
making ppl worry, making them unhappy.
better to draw the line and keep the dist. they will be happier with someone else.

2011-02-13T19:55:00.001+08:00

when i tot that i can still handle,
everything went out of control.
beyond my control.

2011-02-06T22:47:00.003+08:00

CNY celebrations are over. Time to go back to studies. Rested enough i guess?
My mum was finally interested to meet my CT to have a chit chat session. joke. LOL.
My dad is cute. ever since that time i was late for school cos i overslept, he asked me if he need to wake me up :P but yea, my reply is always 'hehe, dun need lah'. then he will ask me wat shoe i will wear the next day, black or white. cos he wake up see my shoe gone liao then he noe i go sch le, if not he will come wake me up LOL.
I shld be contented with my life and stop getting upset over bo liao stuff. I'll try hard. I believe i am strong enough :]
but sometimes, i really hope there is something that i can hold to support, or someone who can support me..

2011-02-02T21:51:00.001+08:00

wth, cny sux! it's only a break for me to catch up on my work...
seriously, wat is wrong with #$*&@ GAH!

2011-02-02T21:14:00.002+08:00

this is disheartening lah. wth. kena scolded for studying till not so late but yea..on new year eve. who on earth is in the right mind to do work on new year eve? practically noone. why do i have to be so hardworking to get scolded??
"我又沒有千里眼，怎么知道你在讀書還是做什么？" whr's the trust?? ok fine, it nvr exsit b4. perhaps since last yr it disappeared. so what if i'm in JC now? got diff ah?? In JC, besides girls, there's also guys. so?? the world also got both wat? my family also got both wat? and, why can't opp gender be really good frens too?? whr's the diff?? all are humans? it's gender discrimination lah!
ok, so the pt is, wth?!?! i today damn tired liao still go study leh? 沒有夸獎就算了，還要被罵...sianzz lah! sighh....it's new year eve today leh....
ok watever, change mood. today's cny celebration in sch quite fun lol. doing manicure and selling hotdogs. and lou hae!!! :] though dint eat much cos a lot fly here fly there fly dunno whr liao. ok, they flew to the floor and table lah obvious. but yea, doing stuff tgt as a class is fun :] earn a lot :] as the class treasurer, i'm super proud of our performance to earn more class fund! :p
kk HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR everyone :] get lots of ang baos!!!

2011-01-30T11:36:00.005+08:00

LOL my 200th blog post :] hmmm CNY is coming soon!! and ya, since 'new year' is coming, shall do some self-evaluation here. actually is just the personality test that i did for CT session.

kk, first one: INTELLIGENCE TEST!
Top strength: logical and mathematical (quite expected)
no2 (got 2 same rank): body/kinesthetic and intrapersonal (hmmm need go search meaning on dict.com...wait ah..."occurring within the individual mind or self"...err so meaning??? :p)
no3: musical and Existential...meaning??? "pertaining to existence" so i am good at wat?? (anyway the third strength is like 0 mark de LOL)
Top weakness: linguistic/verbal ><"
no2: naturalist
no3: sparial/visual and interpersonal

next: PERSONAL BEHAVIOUR INDICATOR!!
I am totally an EAGLE lol. 15/19 points. followed by owl with 9 marks, dove with -1 and peacock -8...conclusion: my zi kua is not my real personality ok??? :P

PROCRASTINATION TEST LOL!!
1: to avoid discomfort (true, lazy and dislike troubles :P)
2: complacency (actually not quite cos normally i procrastinate eng stuff and i am super weak at it??)

Last one..the super long quiz to rank ur strength..crazy lah, 240 qn to rank 24 strengths...dun really like it cos the anaysis is not pertaining to you yourself de. kk let's see my strength and weaknesses :P
Top strength: Judgement, critical thinking and open-mindedness(not quite this)
no2: Honesty, authenticity and genuineness
no3: Citizenship, teamwork and loyalty
no4: Caution, prudence and discretion
no5: Industry, diligence and perserverance
Top weakness: Love of Learning LOL
no2: Spiritually, sense of purpose and faith
no3: Gratitude
no4: Capacity to love and be loved
no5: Appreciation of beauty and excellence

went to my bro's scholaship dinner ystd. spent 3 hours eating dinner...nvr eat a lot but feels damn full cos spent 3 hours eating..ppl talk talk den u listen listen. hmm my bro going australia liao..so need to buck up myself :]

2011-01-23T22:11:00.002+08:00

why is it always me? no room for argument? or i should say making my point? 我也知道大中小和小中大沒有分別, but cant i just correct u and tell u wat it shld be? why is it always me? why always pick on me? i know it's my fault for 'arguing back'. i shldnt have done that. but is saying wat i believe to be true forbidden? maybe i shld have just shut up and do watever u want me to do. but that had always been the case.
我真的很失敗。老媽不了解女兒是我的錯。她不知道我嘴巴上雖然那么說，但倒頭來還是會做。她不信任我。連我自己最引以為傲的能力都是廢的。總是這樣，不太親近的人可以毫無顧慮的把心事告訴我,然後變得更親近，但我總得不到較親的人的信人，結果就越來越遙遠。
i know i'm a failure. i failed as being a good daughter. i nvr help my mum. i have heck care attitude towards my parents. i only cared about my studies. i dunno wat i am borned for.
i can see how ugly i am when i cried, how ugly my heart was. i had promised to not cry anymore.
i hate breaking promises. i am damn evil. i am not nice at all. i am wearing a mask all along. i know i am not a nice person. i am greedy, i am selfish. pls now my true colours now.
i dunno how i can survive up till this day. there's nth for me to live for. if not for my pride, i dunno whr i would be. shld i be glad to have this pride within me that brought me this far?

2011-01-18T22:13:00.004+08:00

sigh...i dunno if i am meddling too much with other ppl's matter. i care for them but i dunno wat i shld do. trying to my best to do wat seems right and to the right extent. tell me if i am doing too much, cos i noe some stuff, outsiders can make it worser. it may always be better for the parties involved to deal with it themselves. i would apologise if i really did something wrong, though i dun have evil intentions, but that's not an excuse also. just hope it is really not that case, and that i am actually helping?
:]

2011-01-17T22:05:00.003+08:00

LOL quite random, but my bro got a scholarship to go australia to study!!! haha good job :]
oh and he wants me to help him advertise his website. err...contains articles. can use for GP. should be not bad :P
http://thethinkingfishtank.wordpress.com/
and woah..h3 starting tmr!!! hope will get to like it.
stupid swimming test tmr...bo liao lah...cant i just show my cert??

2011-01-16T13:45:00.001+08:00

from TIMES, abt the tucson shooting:
"When Dorwan Stoddard heard the explosions, he needed only a moment to realize it was gunfire. He told his wife Mavy to take cover under some folding chairs, then threw himself on top of her. His body absorbed the fatal shots. George Morris, a retired Marine who loves a robust political argument, tried to do the same for his wife Dorothy. He took two bullets, but not the one that killed her."
this is super touching i guess? nvr tot that this kind of thing happens in real life?
wonder if my mum and dad were in that same situation, wat will they do??

2011-01-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

Have had 1 week of sch...tiring sia...not accustomed yet. woke up 3 days consecutively with a bloody headache. each day different side sia. weekend slp till shuang :p
got 2 new teachers. phy and gp. dunno how's life going to turn out :p cannot slack so much liao. need to be consistent. must improve GP and econs.
had open house on wed. ><" saw juniors..and juniors saw me in my make up.....lucky i alrd changed out of my costumes liao :p thinking that juniors are coming in next week...my bro coming in next week...sighh...sch becomes crowded again...peace......

2011-01-10T20:37:00.003+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCH!!!
2 TESTS!!
GG
ok lah..math still not bad...phy...totally tio owned.
phy tut still ans the new teacher's qn until so zai..then later he go mark my paper ~_~" damn cui lah! nvr attempt the last 10 qns??? if i can pass 50%, i really think i pro liao lah LOL
Lots of homework liao..cos holiday nvr finish all ><" CHIONG!! 2011 new yr, new start, new self!

2011-01-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

YAY!! I FINISHED MY I&I TODAY!!!!!!!!! 3 cheers!!! :]
hope sch starts soon...but wat's welcoming me are 2 lect test!!! wth??? phy and math test on THE FIRST DAY OF SCH!!! freak sia..i nvr touch phy at all this holz lah...confirm die....
New timetable out..thu and fri damn cool lah...but tues sux! and PE only 1 hour????? ><"
sigh...thinking that J1s coming in liao...wonder wat our seniors tot at this time last yr...juniors...my bro...and more chao gin nas LOL and A lvl!!! must work hard liao lah!!!

2011-01-03T18:57:00.003+08:00

LOL :p Happy belated new year ppl!! spent the first second of 2011 with ocip ppl. paiseh that i pangseh s6z...but got sms yall ><" hope yall have fun too :]
Last day of 2010:
went to the airport in the morning to sent jiang yin off. come back soon!!! den suppose to go somerset meet ocip ppl de..in the end they go marina square..and since they still watching movie, me and shao go shop shop and walk walk from somerset to marina square! haha, spent 1.5 hrs walking lol. den later walk shao to mbs to meet her family. greeted them a early happy new year :] and lao ma ah..u really old liao lah.. walk with you there spent like 1 hr..i walk back 10 min nia leh... :p walking damn fun lah :] but later leg pain liao :p kk, then went all the way to pasir ris to sleepover at aunty rhino hse :] played the pig game...sian lah..i noe i wun be the first pig de lor..all becos of yingze's pro way of playing...niao me ttm ~_~" den shi kai tio level 5 pig and 12mn is coming soon..so..he got a forfeit :p
First day of 2011:
5!4!3!2!1! MERRY XMAS!!!
yea so counted down...den played halo on the mao pai xbox haha. first time playing ah...not bad sia..winner 25 kills and obviously janelle will win, but i 2nd with 22 kills sia..pro liao :p den played that pig game again....den went out to have supper at 2 plus am?? LOL joke lah. the famous bah chor mee... hahaha. den ppl saying dun wun slp liao...in the end still most of us end up slping ~_~" slept the most :p kk, den 8 am go out eat breakfast den cycle. going round and round around dunno whr..den ppl go pool..watching at the side as usual :p yea den decided to go home liao..but before that bballed :] damn tired.......slept from 9pm to 10 am the next day....
2nd day of 2011: slacked at home.....
3rd day of 2011 (aka today):
went for local CIP with OCIP ppl. was fun :] the children quite enthu so very fun. but really tired today...so went home slp while the rest go j8 watch movie. sigh...WHR'S MY DINNER???

2010-12-29T16:01:00.002+08:00

Staying at home trying to be a guai kia these few days. so that i can go out without guilt and that i can do some homework. wah sian...gp really sucks lah! cant concentrate properly. spent dunno how many hours reading one article. the words really damn small... my eyes really go >< GAH! AQ SUCKS! shall skip AQs and do other stuff ~_~"
Got the urge to go back to ECP again.. shall quickly do my work!! at least finish InI so that i can go out without worries. sigh...stop procrastinating..sheesh!

2010-12-27T23:21:00.003+08:00

sigh...ppl emoing nowadays. some ppl emo, like to talk to frens abt it; some ppl emo like to post poems on fb. seriously lol...i dunno wat's happening to my bro sia...his posts..trying to be a poet or wat? dunno whether is it really joking or not leh...think he really abt siao siao liao. hmmmmmm.......... and then he now say he emoing over his new haircut ><" is it my fault??? die..............but my mum say nice leh....but i really think it looks like coconut tree mah....jiu..k lah, maybe really grow longer liao will look better? oops!
sigh...i emo..just wanna be by myself...jiu..dun want let ppl noe, cos no pt also. 自己難過就好了，告訴別人不但沒幫助，有害別人不開心。就自己熬過吧。

2010-12-26T19:07:00.003+08:00

i hope that sch reopen soon. i really want to go to sch. i dun wanna stay at home anymore. bet i have mentioned b4. i hate long holidays cos i have to stay at home. and that my mum complains that i holiday keep going out...doesnt she realise why i kept going out?? cos i dun wanna stay at home?! and why dun i wanna stay at home??
我不想因為家而再流眼淚。我發誓這是最後一次。我不會再讓家務事再影響我的情緒。我決定以鐵石的心來面對我的家。
才剛睡醒，卻又累了。
i will be determined to finish my work asap, so that i can wish that sch starts asap.

2010-12-26T13:00:00.003+08:00

yo ppl! MERRY BELATED XMAS!!! It was belated cos i dun have access to comp the past 2 days since i was at my family chalet :p yea, and my arms and shoulders and back and neck are aching now, which i dun even noe why??? shouldnt it be my legs that are aching since i ran and cycled??
Xmas eve: reported to the chalet, settled everything. start setting fire and then BBQ!! yea, most of the time i was pekanging the food, since i started the fire, so i also cooked so that everyone can just sit down and eat. den as the night passed, more and more relatives came. den need cook more food, but the charcoal almost dying liao. so i added more. seriously, i really damn zai lah...only add new charcoal, den fan fan fan, den wah! can start a big fire sia. seriously, damn zai! amazed by myself LOL. ya, so new fire, can cook more! den got ppl want take over my job liao..so nth do...eat so full jiu go beach walk walk myself le. nvr tried walking on beach at night b4. cannot really see anything, but can see a line of lights across the sea. hear the waves, feel the waves, feel the sands between ur toes. shuang! sigh...but co sof this walk walk i missed the durian cake T.T nvr wait for me!!! k, den ppl start to zao liao cos damn late le. den me and my bro wanna dry swim leh...but no ppl want swim with us, so got 2 noobs to play with us...taught them while playing....seriously...1 game 1 hour..i want to die lah! so decided to change to poker cards..but they also dunno how play..wah sianzzzzzzz ttm!!! so decided to go back slp...alone...my bro still playing with them...it was 1 am then...
Xmas: set my alarm at 5.30. and my bro and cousin came back at that time to slp..imba..6am..went out to beach again to walk walk and wanted to see sunrise de. but the 太陽公公賴床也賴得太厲害了吧? waited for 1 hour still nvr see...then suddenly the sky brightens....~_~"it was quite hazy lah...and think i faced the wrong direction also ><" k, just wasted 1 hour of my time in the morning ~_~" when i could have slept more...k, then time for some morning exercise. ran for arnd 30 min and maybe abt 4 km. the weather was really nice :] love the run lah! nice scenery..the scenery is like changing so wont feel sian when running. den had a long walk back, since i ran 4km....and finally think time i get to go to the end of bedok jetty. is like everytime go with squadmates also only go the first part to take photo only...and seriously, a lot of ppl fishing there LOL. oh, and the beach, got a lot of campers there. the beach is like full of tents! oh ya, forgot to say. fyi, i was at ecp... yea, then walk super long...then went subway eat breakfast..wah seriously...so healthy sia...cos eat too much junk food at BBQ le. k, then in the afternoon i had lesson with my uncle. he giving this workshop on the 7 habits of effetive ppl..6 hours!!! and yay finally over le! they played baseball while i go cycle alone :P the weather was really nice cos it just rained :] went back for dinner den go out cycle again..with my bro and some other gin nas... then it was 9pm. 腳很酸...kk, den went back played mahjong with my grandma.. the 3 of us totally tio owned by her ><" first round win 滿台, last round win 滿台... so all the earnings we got in btw totally got sucked back by her le... lucky got win one 清一色..if not really 輸到脫褲子.. and my bro really damn suay....one won one game...a very small one...so he lose like siao! kk, finish playing whole round by 1130..better then ystd lah!! 1 hour 1 game ~_~" kk time to go home...damn tired le. slept till 12 today! need to do work!!!!!!!!!!!!! but first, conan :p

2010-12-23T22:59:00.002+08:00

YO! had our sqaud's xmas celebration last thurs :] so much food and we cant finish all!!! and yea! we sucessfully set up the fire after abt 1 hour!! damn pro lah! nice big fire and all white charcoal!! cook, talk, eat...all the unhealthy food :p while my family go eat 大餐 to celebrate my bro's bday...

ok...so after my bro's joke...2 days later was his bday. and yea, cos i not there to eat the 大餐 with him, i contributed his bday cake. the cake i design one leh...damn pro lah..think my i can draw lah...looks somehow like him LOL :p

OCIP outing was fun! finally get to attend one full outing lah...first time get to climb onto rooftop..of course not to commit suicide...not so bo liao as my bro LOL. table tennis was fun as usual. won a game and got someone forfeited :p hehe...damn evil lah... den murderer. first time playing murderer..nvr like poaying it de, but the squeezing one was not too bad. killed everyone when i was the murderer!!! first time murderer can kill everyone sia, talent lah!

SAT results out liao...damn sucky lah! my english seriously CMI!!!! freaking sucky!!! nvr pass 2k leh..siao liao...math full marks. lucky got full marks lah..if not really damn cui...reading sucks! wah, but my essay got 7/12 sia...surprise lol. that crappy essay...

Met up with zoe, hazel and wendy!!! did our usual stuff...watch tv, talk, eat steamboat except this time got no wine....dont have to do anything special...just have to enjoy the company :]

Sigh....seriously need to chiong work liao lah.. how many work do i have left??? how many days do i have left??? 18 days for all GP work, math revision 5 chpts, phy tys, revise chem and econs!!! die liao lah!!!!!!!!!!

><"

Our new song!!!

《等那片天空》

好似霧般朦朦朧朧
不知不覺已經心動
始終沉默不語的你不斷猜疑
不知為什么會心痛

好似風掠過無影蹤
不曉得心已被觸碰
一直封閉自己的你沒有勇氣
無奈為什么會心痛

窗外風景是欲哭而止暗淡的天空
你等著彩虹閉眼祈禱聽寒風在歌頌
一切仿佛是實幻交錯待實現的夢
似遙不可及卻也可以輕易握在手中

好似流星划過夜空
飛逝而過轉眼墜落
霎是心煩意亂的你不能言喻
不明白為何會心痛

窗外風景是欲哭而止暗淡的天空
你等著彩虹閉眼祈禱聽寒風在歌頌
一切仿佛是實幻交錯待實現的夢
似遙不可及卻也可以輕易握在手中

當你的等待換來雨過天晴的那片天空
你將發現這一幕最能讓你感動

窗外風景是欲哭而止暗淡的天空
你等著彩虹閉眼祈禱聽寒風在歌頌
一切仿佛是實幻交錯待實現的夢
似遙不可及卻也可以輕易握在手中

2010-12-15T23:11:00.005+08:00

LOL!! Joke of the day!!! A mum needs to use facebook to communicate with her son????

Back from fuzhou for 1 day le..went cca today...think i damn pro lah....came back just ystd the next day jiu so hiong go cca sia..not bad :p 失眠 last night...still need wake up so early for cca..i feel the need to go cca cos seriously..miss a lot liao...today learnt everything lah...damn pro liao lah...can learn everything in one day...though not very shou lian yet...need to practice more!
LOL...the weather feels so fake to me now...lol cos the weather too nice liao...沒有寒風刺骨..所以感覺好假。空氣也太好了！好不習慣喔！ :]
YAY!!! SQUAD XMAS PARTY TMR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :] BBQ!!!! :] pray for nice weather!! :]

2010-12-14T17:22:00.004+08:00

yo ppl, i'm back from fuzhou. not in a very good mood now. plus some more, i got a headache now. wts...
kk, the fuzhou trip wasn't a very pleasant one as compared to my sec 3 and 4 eoy trip and ocip. furthermore, came back and check my email......and....dint get very good news. yeah, my appeal failed...yeah, jiu i learnt my lesson. because i dint work hard enough, i dint get wat i wanted most. this is the first time that cos of my results, i cant get wat i wanted, k, maybe not the first, but yeah....就很恨自己。都是自己惹的禍，能怪誰能？不能怨天憂人，只能怪自己當初為何臨時抱佛腳，沒有發奮？難過是當然的。恢複後再整裝出發吧....嗨....也只能這樣自我安慰了。
福州之旅，有點後悔參加了。每天猶如度日如年，好辛苦，好希望時間能快點過，趕緊回來。終于回來了!!! 第一，那裏的天氣真的讓我受不了。太冷了。再來，那裏的空氣實在是太差了。ppl smoke here smoke there, smoke anywhere and everywhere! WTS!!! even in airconditioned, wrong, they dont need aicon...even in enclosed areas also smoke! wth lah...seriously, i go there 壽命至少減少二十！我忍得好辛苦 T.T 最後，那裏天氣好干，嘴唇和臉皮都破了><" sigh....至少自己的家鄉去過一次...也幸好沒生病。差一點就病倒了。要生病也回來生比較好。（shit! 頭更痛了！）
去武夷山的那三天，因為是在山上，氣溫更低。第二天晚上還在露天的地方看表演...冷到不行。不知道是幾度，但講話都會冒煙。而且聽說晚上凌晨時氣溫會降到0度...就是有那么地冷。那三天也將近爬了應該有2000級階梯吧？siao liao....
總而言之，很高興回到新加坡，呼吸新鮮空氣！
and...i really cant stand my mum le.seriously,she's pissing me off...write here cos my bro's gf got read my blog de..sigh..wth..total regrets...

2010-12-04T19:34:00.002+08:00

SIANZZZ...wth....tio owned lah! 明天要出國了還來 attitude 我... ~_~"Say out go out everyday ever since i came back...whr got lor??? At least i dint ystd?!?! freak lah...1 dec i only morning go help my dad do stuff and go sch accept H3 nia, 2 dec go sch record song...not say come back very late wat...3 dec so 乖 stay at home but she out whole day so nvr see...nvr see doesnt mean dont have ok?? Today go take SAT mah....OCIP outing also nvr stay long, only eat lunch nia...lucky left early lah, got 先見之明, if not really tio owned lah! sigh...............why like that de??? tmr still going overseas with her..must she destroy my mood like that??? 早知道就不去了.........think she pms-ing sia..mood swimg damn serious... >kk, change mood liao...if not really will die ><" kk, think i should blog more abt the trip to vietnam on a day by day basis when my memory is still sort of fresh in case i forget. memories sia, must keep! the previous post is only general reflection
kk, Day 1:
tio owned by my mum...yet again LOL...sianz lah...always go overseas must owned me isit??? 不送機就算了，出門前還要....nvm...kk, went airport with shao, ate brunch at crystal jade..late for 20 min :p nvm, since the teachers also havent check in :p ppl who are suppose to be here to 送機放飛機 LOL den bought shirts at giordano in the airport. was surprise when i paid money cos the amt paid was lesser than wat i have expected..den realised airport no GST! joke! kk, reached vietnam, met the vietnamese and korean volunteers, wrote song on our way to hotel. Checked in hotel, unpack stuff, eat dinner. dinner was quite a joke LOL. nice carrot right??? :p den debrief and time for lalaland :]
Day 2-6:
Wake up, eat breakfast, prepare to go to the sch. Sat on the lorry with funny misoc for their horns. nice scenery on the way :] teaching+education+construction. first 2 days pluck weeds for constructions...拔了那么就，眼前還是綠油油的...sick of green sia LOL and ants crawling up our bodies and biting us. initially we screamed or shout, but later got used le so just say 'ouch ouch'.next few days construction is croncretising the ground so...hard labour! Den last few days dig holes. dig holes damn shuang lah, can 發泄！心情不好時就拼命工作，讓自己沒有時間去想別的東西。kk, after abt 2 hours of 苦工 is lunch time!! normally will finish lunch by 1230, so can slack until 1330 den go back work. so we will slack there, talk crap, joke, and play games like murderer or some games the children there teach. after lunch back to 苦工 and den dinner. den back to hotel...debrief...slp! one event to rmb will be the breaking of the water pipe! damn joke sia. thx to burden king S****l C**a LOL oh, and another one, ehh...dunno which day, talking abt all the detective games de. i 1 girl go crash a room full of guys..joke! later then got other girls come join LOL. Then change venue to play cards at lk and oswald room with shu ren, laura, fishball :p played asshole daidi...and i was king for very long ok?! yea, lights out suppose to be at 11pm de, den decided to change to play bridge at that time..havent start one game teacher come ji siao...LOL joke sia hmmm.....
Day 7:
not much stuff left to do...prepared for performance for the sch. the koreans performance really damn funny, esp JIN!!!! LOL our performance though screwed up a bit, but still, a wonderful job done!
Day 8:
Mekong delta tour...coconut candy, honey, fruits. Rmb at the honey station i tried to drink their rice wine and 藥酒 LOL not very nice though :p den they got this ginger thing... ><" so challenged jung hoon oppa in a game of dunno wat it is called. and yay! i won so he had to eat that :p
Den checked in hotel...the hotel was so much nicer lah!!! kk, den water puppet show. dunno wat they doing but was amazed :] dinner ate pho bo. play that dunno wat it is called game again and the loser lin kai had to propose to mr liw!
Day 9:
cuchi tunnel. viet cong will nvr die! that is wat the guy kept saying lol. the tunnel really...quite small. duck walked all the way, can train leg muscles sia. den lunch...played the marry, shag and shoot game LOL den the war museum. and wei cher trying to pluck out his sole there. Joke! kk, den go ymca for cultural night. ppl dancing while waiting for ceremony to start. yea, last day seeing all the other volunteers. back to hotel. sang lots of song on the way back :] as a group!! nice feeling :] team spirits! team bonding!
Day 10:
shopping!!! ya, just shopping lor..say b4 liao. den go airport, reach singapore, say bye bye~ Yea, and this time finnaly can help my bro by alcohol liao. thx xin xin :] called home nobody ans...no one at home. good one.. walk walk at airport. amazed by the gallery. talk to random ppl there lol. joke! yea den eat dinner then go home.
yep, that's all i believed.
yea, so ppl, i will be away from tmr till 14 dec! going china!

2010-12-02T22:20:00.002+08:00

YO! Back from vietnam for a few days le! Too lazy to blog though :p
Kk...let's see....OCIP vietnam was a fun and memorable experience with a group of nice ppl :] We are just like one big family, everyone having fun tgt, been through hardships tgt, ki siao tgt :] no barriers..like u are teacher i am student, u are vietnamese she is korean i am singaporean. We are just a group of nice ppl serving the community :] Though there may be times where we complain, had arguments, the fun times still far outweighs the negative parts. And we just forgive and forget.
Construction was fun, though tiring. Learnt a lot of new stuff. Was totally amazed by the constuctions workers. Seeing how they make magnificent stuff using simple tools. Damn cool lah! Constuction was a good workout, and good to fa xie :p
Education...jiu hai hao...not much gan xiang. Dunno wat i have been doing LOL...sian lah..not very close to the children leh...think they scared of me also :(
RnR...site seeing...ok lah...not bad, quite fun. Crashing ppl's room, play cards, play detective games, kena chase out by teachers...hahahah And pls...is daidi KING ok?? Got a new aunty!!! FEATURING AUNTY RHINO!!!! Cant stop laughing like him lah....'juusssttt'
Shopping! Bought a pair of jeans and traditional vietnam costumes and a lot of other stuff! LOL joke haha. Finished all my dongs. Brilliant spending on brilliant stuff by brilliant ppl :]
K, jiu zhe yang! lazy liao :p

2010-11-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

YO PPL!!!! Greetings from VIETNAM!!!!
Spent 6 days concretising the school's floor and teaching children! Shall elaborate more when i come back cos it is damn late now!!! Almost everyone is crashing a room and playing but me and shao are using computers now..no life..but ya, damn tired liao..need to sleep soon :p
Coming back TODAY!!!! Last minute shopping!! Need to buy new jean!!! So need sleep early to yang zu jing shen!!! :p
BYE!!! See singapore in 18 hours time :]

2010-11-20T21:42:00.002+08:00

yo ppl!! i flying away liaozzz! YUP! i got wings, just grew de :p
so will be away from 21-30 nov, so can dun bother to check my blog liao, maybe just press to listen to the music if you want LOL!
BYE BYE!!!

2010-11-17T23:28:00.005+08:00

Bball plus table tennis today :] Taught and trained ky how to play table tennis. Hehe, she can play liao lols, all because she got a good coach :p ok lah, acy got teach her the basics first mah..cannot搶全部的功勞。做人要謙虛。
Then decided to go bugis with ky to walk walk after that (sry for pang sehing the guys...paiseh). And the person who claimed to know where to alight dunno when to alight in the end, and we ended up at suntec ~_~" so went marina square walk walk instead. LOL, ky 滿載而歸 lor. Not bad, she bought a slping back from royal sporting house. AH!!!! i want the baby blue cap...........TT no $$ sigh....
First time go out with ky like that and chit chat tgt. Not bad :] I am getting better at this, as in knowing ppl more and chit chat with ppl abt and random stuff under the sky lol. It's good that suqadmates can still maintain our relationships like that :]
Then went st house to listen to her talk...den end up chatting. Ya, and singing our newly composed chorus. adjusting the key..ate pizza :] finally got smth to eat lah..hungry like siao! Can hear my stomach going 'GRRRRRRRRRR' Den talk talk again until like 10 plus...very long nvr talk like that liao. And her aunt and ah ma...see me and say the same thing,"你變黑了是嗎？為什么？“ ><"
Hmmm...mum is going malacca for 2 days...need do housework...settle own meals....sianzzz
sigh...and dunno why my right eyelid is swollen...pain TT

2010-11-15T23:31:00.002+08:00

Another joke of the day ~_~"
This time, by my bro, the younger one:
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
u wan play cs?
WT Wong says
lol
now?
how long?
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
until 12
WT Wong says
with?
1 game how long de?
can azo halfway?
zao*
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
can
about 50 sec
u need download garena
WT Wong says
have liao
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
den long in
press game
go asean
den singapore rm 2
WT Wong says
wait ah
the garena...
dunno need update wat shit
who playing?
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
need
donald me ah gor
WT Wong says
eh..the garena need update wat de ah?
the thing update halway
stop sia
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
just wait lor
WT Wong says
it says failed to update file leh
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
try again lor
we all can ur com sure an one
WT Wong says
kk, trying..think need wait damn long..
yall can play first bah
i done le tell yall
cmi sia
failed again
wts
nvm bah
yall play lor
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
we playing dota
u wan join lor
WT Wong says
siao lol
i dunno how play dota sia
but my garena done liao
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
wait first arh
i see first
WT Wong says
nvm lah
yall can play wat u want lah
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
wemay play winter maul
WT Wong says
LOL
ok..
if yall play that
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
may
WT Wong says
ya
if yall play
then i join lor
but maul quite long de
yall de username is wat ah?
add first lor
nvr play also can add first
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
alanwwy
WT Wong says
can see me?
jwwt1412
den ah gor and ah cheng leh?
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
we playing warcraft
u wan just join and anyhow play
WT Wong says
nvm den
dont play until too late hor!
[Ĥʗïωʊsɦų]- Your Dad says
ok lor
Crazy..under same roof sia, use msn talk. Joke! but at least made me am chio a bit when my mood sucks to the max. ok lah, at least he come ask me if i wanna play. not bad lol. considering we dont do this kind of thing at all, esp from this yr onwards.and at least they rmb i only noe how to lay maul LOL

2010-11-15T20:51:00.002+08:00

Joke of the day - by WT's dad:
“你去越南做義工一定要買保險。不然別人用鋤頭，一不小心把你的頭鋤掉！”
LOL, hahaha....~_~"

2010-11-15T17:55:00.002+08:00

looking back at histories. matching the dates. piecing up the puzzle. everything just falls in place nicely and perfectly. no room for doubts. realised that i had done something really bad without me knowing. why dint i notice something then? why am i still so stupid and ask those stupid questions, on that very day?? the story flows. it is at least 60% true. because i could not get the most important primary source. i think i need to look back at the histories every now and then, reminding myself what i should do, and what i should not. reminding myself, i need to beware of my actions.

2010-11-14T18:33:00.002+08:00

LOL, very long nvr blog liao.
One of the very big events that happened the past week is..OP!!! Actually only got this big event lah. Yea, OP...It was a happy ending. It marks the end of our fabulous PW journey :]
OP is actually quite fun for me :p totally just enjoyed it. No hastening of heartbeat, smiling throughout. It was a fun experience :]
Some self reflections here:
To be honest, when i first knew who are in my group when edwin annouced, i totally cua tio. But as we got along, things started to get better, and that we had lots of fun. Though sometimes i was really quite frustrated by some er hmm behaviours and need to cui work (though not like i was always on schedule :p), but overall, i think i had a good PW group, just like wat edwin made us said after he annouced the groups.
The PW journey is really memorable. The start was really quite tough for me, trying to work with new ppl, being the leader...I was totally stressed out in the beginning. Like cos is using my PI, and being the leader...scared that i will cos trouble for the group. cos PW IS AN A LEVEL SUBJECT!!! dont play play sia. ya, so was stressed lor. then most of the time is i say then yall do work de, so i scared wat i said will be smth wrong also ><" And like halfway through PW i was quite lost...and need help from yall, like giving some suggestions...But lucky we survived :]
I believed that we all had a fun time doing PW right? It was FABULOUS isn't it?
And here, i have to apologise for being so demanding and fierce at times :p good that yall survived HAHA

2010-11-07T14:58:00.002+08:00

holidays are here....sianz. Have to spend most of the time at home?
i dun wanna stay at home, i dun like to stay at home.
where is the love?
that's one thing i hate about having holidays. long long holidays....sux.

2010-11-03T19:39:00.002+08:00

Sigh..this sch ah, i think only the discipline department is effecient lah...wth...
PW reh venues change and change, teacher cannot be contacted...not efficient at all.
Den the disciplinary department so damn efficient! Today late in the morning, den night check ISP record in liao. Bloody efficient.
Dashed 4 min from coro to sch with the damn big and heavy bags and super suai lah, put down bag at class bench the 2nd bell go ring..wth? wait a while more cannot ah? Sianzzz...
OP coming soon..need to stop eating all the junk food liao lah. Just finished a pack of roller coaster by myself...and the past few days at chips and chocs. Siao liao. Maybe too stress liao or watever...nvm
WE ARE FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-31T01:57:00.003+08:00

今早，老媽又提到長到賺錢的事。有必要那么說嗎？說什么長大後賺多少錢就要規定給多少。這樣讓我覺得賺錢給錢變成了一個規定，而不是因為想敬孝道而給父母零用錢，讓我覺得很不舒服。如果我給父母錢是因為他們規定，那么這就想是例行公式一般，一點意義也沒有，讓我覺得我很沒良心。這種事情不應該是子女們自動自發的嗎？會這么做是因為她不相信我們吧？不相信我。這讓我很失望。我的母親竟然不了解我的為人。難道我那么努力想做個好人，到頭來都是浪費力氣，是個偽善者？

對，我是個偽善者。虛偽，偽善，假惺惺，冷血，無情，沒同情心，利益分明。

錢。真的那么愛錢嗎？錢不是萬能，但沒錢萬萬不能。我討厭錢，卻不得不為它而努力，不得不靠它來生活。被錢壓迫，失去自由。人生就是那么的悲慘吧。有個有智慧的腦，卻抵不過沒腦的錢。在聰明的人也得向錢低頭。這是一個被錢掌舵的腐敗世界。
好想回到過去，回到4月19日之前...

Self-reflections

2010-10-29T23:31:00.004+08:00

Time to wake up. I have screwed up my life. Wrong decisions made, wrong choice chosen, wrong actions done. I regretted. 明知前面有個火坑，難道還那么傻，去飛蛾撲火、玩火自焚嗎？
就是有那么笨！
希望能讓時間倒流，回到最初的平反。但這是不可能的。那只好希望時間快快飛逝而過，讓我早點逃離這一切的不可理喻。明明對這類事情反應慢半拍，卻什么都知道。不該知道的通通知道，想知道的卻得不到答案。被卷在這莫名的旋渦裏，好難呼吸，快要窒息了。

I dunno why i have become more feeling and thinking. It sux. Why have I changed? This is not me. And I hate it. Hate the way it brings the unwelcomed joy and unwanted sadness. Can't really ignore things now. 要在乎別人的感受，在乎自己的感受...不能在狠心一點、心狠手辣一點嗎？
但總把別人擺在第一位，只好忽略自己的感覺。
Congratulations JWWT!! You have just screwed up your life. Here's ur certificate.

2010-10-23T01:13:00.002+08:00

not sure when i finish this post u will still be awake to see or not, but seeing it in the morning or some other days also not very late also.. nvr see also nvm.. hmmm..how shld i start? ok, is like, i think that sometimes u were too engrossed in ur own feelings that u dont sense mine. though i am less emotional than u, but it does not mean that i am emotionless. ya, so i was not really happy abt that, cos i feel that i give u time and attention to hear u out but sometimes when i talk to u, u like ren zai hun bu zai, so i found it quite tiring to talk to u sometimes. den for the conflict, i noe it was the fault of both of us, cos like yi ge ba zhang pai bu xiang. but i really do appreciate that u always make the first move. cos u noe i cant bring myself to do anything abt it de. when i saw that sms, i dunno why but i got the urge to see u, without thinking wat i am going to do next. i just felt that i had to do smth. i also hope that u can appreciate the fact that i went over to ur hse so late at night (a bit paiseh that i disturb ur family, think ur parents will think i ki siao one) to hope to make things better... and abt my previous post, is just that i dunno wat word i shld use to describe, and when i say 'care' i dont mean it that way. maybe i shld have said like 'ppl who has good impression of me, and not really close to me, and ppl whom i feel i need to uphold my image'...really dunno how to describe, and laziness took over me so i just said 'care'. and i wont cry when smth happened btw us cos we were too close le...is like towards very close ppl, i cant really do very mushy stuff..like even say goodnight to u is like...er...cant say it. i also dunno how i behave this way, but ya..that's me lah. u noe that i only treat u this way de. maybe u will feel very unfair, like why i treat ppl not so close better, but this proves that u were closer to me and that u are more special i guess. maybe i will change over time?? maybe... then for ppl who were concerned abt the 2 of us, i thank you for being concerned. things shld be getting better bah...

2010-10-21T17:09:00.002+08:00

sigh...not in a very good mood today. Bball is really a nice way to 發泄情緒。Tire urself up so that u have no more energy to think of other stuff. But the stupid haze....damn it!
I am totally fine with the idea of me making someone angry, cos it doesn't hurt me. 是生氣的人自討苦吃，跟我沒關係。But it is when i make someone who cared for me disappointed in me...that really upsets me. Totally. Is like, i will feel super bad and apologetic and think that i am such worse person. But what is done cannot be undone, no matter how apologetic you are, once u stained a white shirt, no matter how u wash, the stain can still be seen, no matter how faint it is.
算了吧。誰叫我的性格就是這樣？吃軟不吃硬。激將法對我來說只會有反效果。

失望。

2010-10-16T22:04:00.002+08:00

2 days of kayaking, 2 days of FOS bball...chao da liao...totally! regretted not putting sunblock sia..so when to buy sunblock today. damn joker. chao da le den buy sunblock...
but FOS was really fun. won 2nd!! yay athena is pro!!! and also knew a lot of other pro ppl also. i need to buck up liao.
Went out with zoe, hazel and wendy for luch today...my pocket really will po dong...but it was fun. super long nvr meet up tgt le.
and YAY!!! detective conan movie 14 finally out!!!!!! whoosh!!! watch finish liao :] waiting for movie 15......

2010-10-12T18:21:00.002+08:00

WHOOSH!!! PROMO'S FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!! LOL, this post a bit de late ah...so is my post promo mood :p Now must faster enjoy...results out then can slowly cry...
Sat and Sun went to help tuition my mum's fren's daughter..she having PSLE science on mon..Wah...幾百年nvr touch P6 science sia...suddenly ask me go tuition. But realise P6 science actually damn easy lah..2 days 4 hours earned $50..not too bad..can finance my outing later on sun and mon.
Went to yiteng's hse after tuition on Sun. Played table tennis, x-box wrestling and swam..i mean played in the pool. Ended the night with a 100-point marathon with lester. Baik ah lester....next time i go bring my own bat and train a bit more...watch out next time!
Went universal studio on Mon. Went in totally dun feel like singapore..except for the weather. Took a lot of photos, spent a lot of $$$, had a lot of fun and tireness.
Kayaked today..today is do all the basic stuff..and sian lah...after lunch go out sea again...felt nausea liao..bet is the lunch lah!!! shall bring my own lunch tmr.
Another day of fun and tireness tmr :]

2010-10-07T23:39:00.002+08:00

Tmr is the last paper...shld get excited by now de...but is like feeling super stressed up now........
I dunno why but every time math paper...i will get stress...how???
Scared careless, cannot do..dunno how to do...no time to think..cannot finish....................
Afraid that i will walk out of the exam venue feeling...i just got owned.........
Maybe i shld just go slp now and forget everything...
Just cant feel happy now that it is the last paper tmr...hoping that the paper will nvr come........

2010-10-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

Promos starting in 11 hour time and ending in 131 hour time.Time flies. It will be over soon. (I'm am alrd looking forward to post promos days le :p)
Mug all you can. Either you own, or you tio owned.
Jia you ppl!! WE CAN DO IT!!!

I will own GP tmr...

2010-09-24T21:25:00.003+08:00

累了。還有好多沒溫習呢！還有PW...NEED TO CHIONG!!!
Was mentally exhausted for the past few days. Totally can feel the blankness in my brain on thu. Can't feel the adrenaline rush when playing bball ystd. But the little boy whom i met on the train really made my day :] He is super cute lah. Haha. Keep saying bye bye jie jie..LOL! Just can't stop smiling at him haha.
Today came home early...to eat 泡面...nice one sia. The rest of the day come home late got dinner...today come home early eat wat sia.....sigh...waste my effort
Discovered a new nice place to study le :] Promos in err...10 days time??? Cannot procrastinate anymore. Still have a lot undone...加油加油!
Need to take note of health also...if not promos havent come 就死了有點不值得:p

2010-09-18T20:45:00.002+08:00

Sigh...Wed and Thu are sucky days...becos of phy. Wth...totally, spoil my mood. 令人氣氛的事情還是把它們忘了吧。也不想多說什麼。
Studied in sch for the whole week. It is really tiring and exhaustive...i totally 垮掉了。需要補充很多很多的睡眠﹗
Bballed on thu and fri :] seriously, i noe wat is my new year resolution liao: not to get hit by the ball or get injured when playing bball...sigh...每次玩都會被球打倒 ~_~" and jit woon...sigh.......
Ponned sch on fri after lunch time to go attend ah pa graduation ceremony. He happy liao lor. Can graduate le :] and 老媽啊﹐不用那麼緊張啦﹗我都無所謂﹐你幹嗎那麼著急? Lax lax!
Oh, and today's electone lesson, not bad sia, teacher praised my impro..hahahaha, but cos is got practice a lot of times liao..that's why not bad :p
H3 econs..seems fun :] i shall work hard!!! need to score for econs for promos this time, for H3 and also to win yi teng LOL. He challenged me on fri sia..hahaha

2010-09-13T23:54:00.002+08:00

At night, dad came my room and called me to his room. He got the excited look on his face. I followed him into his room and saw his 畢業袍 and 畢業帽. Can see that he was really looking forward to it. It cost him $40 to rent those stuff. But he still smiling, so i can sense the importance of that graduation ceremony to him. This makes me feel that i did not make the wrong decision. A certain risk is involved, but, i will still take it. Hope lady luck is with me, at least be with me 4 days later...

2010-09-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

Sian..cant concentrate on studying leh...not in the mood yet..die sia, whole sept holiday did so little. Pormos can die liao. can go 考天才 liao..

Came across this few pics. DAMN FUNNY!! haha. This one damn cool right??

Oh..was doing the phy revision booklet and came across this qn:
Mr Chow released his handphone from rest at the top of Cheng Yi Block and recorded the time taken for it to reach the ground as (4.0+,-0.1)s. If g is 10 m s-1, what is the height of the building??
Wah...phy teachers so 偉大 sia...為了查出 height of Cheng Yi Block 就犧牲 handphone. But a bit stupid sia..why use handphone leh?? LOL!!

OK...REALLY NEED TO STUDY!!!

2010-09-08T21:46:00.003+08:00

I AM TIRED!!!
MAF rehearsals are really tiring..though is like slacking..but is like, until so late!! And today's rehearsal was really...like WTH!!! One of the band keep playing and playing and playing...is like you play one time, ok very nice. But if you really keep playing and playing the same ROCK song over and over again, it is really irritating! It was really very bad. Got a headache and felt nausea after 30 min..like torture sia. Really almost drive me crazy liao.
Hmm..got enlightened last night by lester (need to give credit..cos got caught due to plagarism :p), that promos coming and stopping bbal cos of that makes no sense.

#lester; ElNinoF9T
but rly what. promos coming then dun play sports
no make sense to me lol

Think it is ok not to stop, but have to control. Like you cant kick an addiction just like that wat..having to slowly limit the dosage. Like cannot play like 2,3 hours, but maybe 30 min is ok. Just like taking a break after mugging. Mug too long also not good for health. Should have a balance lifestyle :] All mug no bball makes wai tiem a dull girl LOL!!
Time for more mugging and detective conan :p

2010-09-04T20:21:00.002+08:00

Had the first ocip meeting ystd.
I feel very dui bu qi to the teachers, but i can only say...i can only lead with passion.
Crapped so much about leadership stuff during interview but end up taking no post. I can only say, i have my principles when deciding if i want to be a leader.

Exactly 1 mth to promos le. Need to be a mugger liao...NEED DETERMINATION!!! No more bball. Strive to mug everyday. Jia you!!

2010-08-30T22:00:00.002+08:00

It has been a really long time since i last enjoyed playing my electone. It is still so therapeutic playing the pieces that i liked. I have been plying electone as a routine instead of enjoying it...for the sake of exam, and getting stressed by it..i have not been enjoying myself...i should really spend more time playing it. not for the sake of exam, but for my passion in it. It really helps to relieve stress and release emotions.
It's time to move on.

2010-08-27T22:44:00.002+08:00

家家有本難念的經。只是那本經不一樣而已。不同的遭遇，可是後果確實相似的，只會讓人被從中來。想當好人，結果搞到自己兩頭不著岸，兩邊不是人。為何要這樣這么自己？就因為“孝”這個字`就因為有血緣關係。這負擔太沉重了。可是，這是一個擺脫不了的包袱，只好繼續自殘。
真的會難過。而難過時想找個人傾訴卻不知道能找誰。
有時候真的很想放手，什么都不管，不要再在乎別人的感受了。為了別人而活的確很辛苦。直想在乎自己快不快樂，就想能不能自私那么一次。可是答案很明顯－不行。因為我狠不下心來。
想哭泣時卻沒有容身之處讓我痛快的哭。
為何總是事與愿違？明明一切都決定好了，卻突然殺出個程咬金，把計划搞糟？不喜歡做決定。好難抉擇，但還是決定犧牲了自己去換取他人的歡心。因為已經承諾過，而他也滿心期待地盼望著。怎么能忍心讓他失望呢？我們三個之中，他最依賴我了。怎么能拋下他呢？
好辛苦。忍住淚水時真的好辛苦。
努力讓自己快樂...是為了減輕別的痛苦。所以快樂時也不知道自己是否真的是打從心裏地快樂。只有難過才是最真實的。因為真的能感覺到心在痛。只有痛，才讓你感覺到感覺。虛偽的面具真的讓人好累。

2010-08-22T14:16:00.005+08:00

Ok, 1 week no post liao. Let's see wat i have been doing for the past 1 week :p
Mon:
Suppose to stay back in sch and mug de, but ended up playing basketball. Ok lah, got mug a bit lah, did econs tut and chem task..spent super long still dunno how to do..sian diao. Den bball till quite late, arnd 7.30 bah.
Tues:
Eh..normal sch day, just that i forgot to bring my math and phy lect notes..so slacked during the lectures...Had CCA. Performing for teacher's day. Dancing the guys part!! Lucky dun have to do the erhmmm girl's moves :] Although dun have nice costumes to wear, but still it is a rare chance to wear the guys costumes also :]
Wed:
Ao ye-ed last night to complete the chem ws, so super tired on wed liao. After sch immediately went home to slp. Ask shao to remind me to do moodle quiz de...in the end both forgot, so GG :p
Thu:
Phy tut was the 1st period. Den abt to end liao den lester tel T*nOH that we got chem spa so ask him release us earlier. Den i got qn to ask him, so everyone left liao..den after i finish asking he ask me why i not going for chem SPA, den i like *dry laugh* and tell him we got a break LOL. Den he go, "Sharks!" LOL
Chem SPA was ok bah..i taking my own sweet time to do and just finish on the dot! Nice estimation :] Math tut got back out math lect quiz. When Mdm Ong said that i got the highest, i can hear someone shitting LOL. And good job steph pang and sheryl!!!
Oh, and it was lk bdae so after sch cs they all went to get him a present. Haha, a nail clipper. Nice one. And yes, i agree that 19 is a nice number :]
Fri:
Long but slack day. Went hogh sch for lunch and solved a IQ qn on yiteng's iphone!! Proud of myself hehe :P Last part of CT session was funny. DM trying to tell us which shoes are acceptable and which are not. Steph pang, rmb to change hor LOL.
Den CCA at salt. Almost finishing the dance liao. Need to practice more and rmb my steps! Played bball after that and went to grandma hse for dinner!
Sat:
Damn suay. Went for electone lesson but teacher on MC. Cos i changed my phone no. so dint receive the sms...wth...waste my time...more than half of my day gone le...Den went for the Jap festival. Was quite disappointed by it..but oh well..got better as time pass.
Oh oh!! And i got in OCIP liao. Yay. Dun need worry abt whether i shld take electone exam le. And the trip is like...i noe half of the ppl there, so not bad :]
Sun:
Need to chiong out chpt 1,2,3,4 of WR today for cs to do chpt 5. finish 1 and 2 le. Must kuai kuai zuo..if not dun need study econs liao lah...havent start studying sia...die die die!

2010-08-14T20:52:00.002+08:00

Dear W*** W** T*** of 10S6A,
According to our records, you have committed the offence of Late Coming on the following dates and will be given 1 demerit point(s) each.
1. 11-Aug-2010
If there are any discrepancies or clarification, please consult your Civics Tutor.
Regards,
Discipline Committee
H** C**** I**********

LOL..this is funny. Havent opened my sch's email for ages and the first thing that i see is this. Nice one sia...sian diao lol. My nice record....IS ALL BECOS OF THE BLOODY JAM AT BUKIT TIMAH ROAD LAH!!!!

Had my OCIP interview ystd. Ehh...think shloud be ok bah...er...dunno leh. The qns they ask is like..keep asking about leadership stuff...Den the female teacher say that i look quiet..so am i a proactive person??? I am like ..how the hell can u tell that i am a quiet girl in an interview when i keep talking LOL?? And wth is proactive sia?? I love GP lol. Den they explain wat is proactive so i anyhow crap ans liao...i think i a bit 大言不慚leh...sheesh :p Then the most epci qn is: What happens if Ms C**a is the one interviewing you today??? I am like...er...how i am going to ans this?? So i just 實話實說 withouthing thinking...come to think of it..my ans a bit de..crappy lah..I think the back part of my interview really shows what a person i am lor...cos is like..impromptu de..so..haha...see how bah. Anyway, also not sure if can get in..first aider 的優勢沒有了, den from 40++ ppl choose 25..a bit need the luck sia. But anyway, got to know my electone exam dates liao..totally crash with OCIP..damn lucky lor! Lucky OCIP results out by 20th, den electone application date closes on 29th..still can see if can get in OCIP first den decide if want to apply for electone exam. If nvr get in den can go for exam bah...If get in OCIP, den exam need to go next time..which is like next year liao lah = need to pay more $$ to cont learning. But even if i go exam now i dun think i can pass lah..totally not prepared..super long nvr practice impro liao..did 1 today and i feel i suck at it le...完蛋. Then today the teacher showed us his impro again...still 一樣 zai lah...then he said smth that really makes me feel 慚愧..."how can I played like this?? it because i practice everyday, and when i dun noe smth, i will ask the teacher. Practice slowly..one note by one note..den slowly compile all ur ideas....."I think i really need to 放足心思 if i really want to pass my exam. Sigh...Ok..OCIP and electone exam..wait until 20th then 慢慢考慮.

Went back NY for food and fun fair. Spent 1 hr walking from sch to NY LOL! Hahaha..cos zkz bai ka liao lol. Go there walk walk eat eat. Den after the funfair helped to clear and carry stuff. Pro lim kiat made a bet with Mr C**a that if he nvr shoot in the 3-pointer, then need to help carry stuff. So as expected..is an..AIR BALL!!! 恭喜發財!! But in the end everyone still helped to carry the stuff cos got a lot. Played bball after that :]

2010-08-11T18:55:00.003+08:00

LOL! Happy belated birthday to Singapore!!! hahaha. I can't say that i am PROUD to be a singaporean..not to the extent yet..but i can say that i am HAPPY to be a singaporean. 一切就好像是冥冥之中注定好的。出生于新加坡，過著安穩的生活，身旁有許多親朋好友。這是命中注定的吧。就是因為有新加坡，才會有今天的我。
Spent the whole of national day with zoe. Went to her hse to "mug" math, but sort of failed again lol. Den spent lunch time watching random shows on the tv. Watch a show called 第二回合我愛你. watched for abt 1hr but still dunno wat is it talking abt lol. Den set off to the hotel to watch fireworks!!!
The hotel is Marina sands, the 3 tall building at the IR that one. Took mrt to promenade and walked all the way there...a bit crazy lol. Den the hotel is damn cool..but a bit de crowded. The lift is super fast one, but cos of the no. of ppl...it kept stopping and stopping..want to vomit liao lor..
Reached the hotel room..alrd got quite a few of her relatives there liao..a lot of gin nas..very noisy. Her mum intro me to them, saying i was her pri sch classmates..then they quite cua dio. Haha, we are pri sch good frens mah :]
Went to swim also. I rmb i took out my swimming costumes and put in a ziplock bag liao...den reach hotel cannot find..cos i dint put it in my bag ~_~" so i heck liao. Wore zoe's fbt and sport bra to go swim. anyway in the pool..no one can see wat u wearing :p Den the swimming pool is SUPER DUPER COOL!! you noe the 3 tall building..the top got this ship like thingy?? That's the swimming pool sia. 露天泳池。超美的！Den swim with her relative (the gin nas i mean) very funny..especially his bro and another counsin...a bit de..er hmmm...they damn bo liao lol.
Watched the parachute performance at the pool. Den went back hotel to watch the rest. First time i watch the whole of the parade lol. Den the 最讓我期待的煙火果然沒讓我失望 :] 很美!!!

Pics taken by zoe :]

Watching at the hotel is quite diff from last time. Is a diff type of 美. watch from marina square is 壯觀,cos the fireworks is just over ur head..the entire sky is filled with it. The hotel one is you can see the patterns and shapes. I shall go back to marina square next yr and watch!! :]

Den today i was late for sch...woke up a bit later then usual..but shldnt be late one lah..is the stupid traffic and bukit timah...sian..i shld have slept longer and be later and pon the YOG thing...only like at 9 am got impt stuff lor..Only see the torch mah.. But well..still saw it. 至少在我有生之年曾經親眼目睹奧運火炬 LOL

OK! math test tmr!!! need to mug mug mug...

2010-08-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

Yay!!! Ndp performance is over!! Never had i felt so tired before. Maybe i did, but still really super exhausted ystd. 1 week dedicated for rehearsal...need to catch up with work le.
1st time performing in front of so many ppl! Lucky my 閃光 quite high, just pretend cannot see ppl. Whoosh, MCS we rock :] It was a good experience, but maybe we shld be more prepared for the next performance. We can do better!!! Let's jia you for the teacher's day performance :]
Went out with classmate and taekwondo ppl and squadmates (hard to classify lah) after ndp celebration. Think the outing was ok, like at least we can play some lame stuff...Made a wise decision to not play pool and leave early to go home slp. If not really will die....Slept for abt 1 hour and went VGC. The slp was totally not enough lah...den only reached home at 11, den bathe and settle some stuff..slept at 1..totally crazy.. utterly exhausted. got the 被榨干的 feel.
Finally conducted the home hopping session today. 心中的大石總算放下了。I was quite stress organising the session..like cos is working with outside ppl and i'm suppose to be in charged?!?! all thanks to shao....though it was stressful and tiring, it was still a good opportunity for me to work with ppl other than squadmates. At least i got back the feel of leading ppl and organising stuff. Really have to thank my team for supporting me and joining the session. The session was really enjoyable, though now i a bit lose my voice liao.
i shall 養足精神 today and start chionging work tmr!!

Got a new hp no, so tell me if you want it.

2010-08-05T20:45:00.002+08:00

Lost my hp last sat...only found out after i posted...sad sia...
I waited for that model for 9 mths and finally got it. Then lost it in 4 mths....and my nice hp no. also gone..Sigh....so ppl, dont call me anymore le. Got stuff to tell me have to email or msn me hor.
Tmr got sch;s ndp performance. I dont want make up!!! Later got pimple breakout sia...sie lah. Need to reach sch super early, so shall slp early tonight!
And shi nai!! Get well soon :]

And yay!! 1 free vitasoy :p hahahahahaha

2010-08-01T00:12:00.002+08:00

Long time no update le!!
First thing: Let me wish Hazel woon a happy 17th birthday ystd!! :] Paiseh, late by 30 min :p
Had our PW FGD ystd. Was really happy when Mr Lim comliment our FGD. At least our effort paid off. But also a bit sad at the same time cos i don't think anyone will appreciate what i have done besides my grpmates and mr lim. I really spent quite a lot of time on those stuff but i think they were just treated like a joke.
And got sabo-ed by cs twice ystd. first was the proposal thingy...suppose to be no time do liao, but den he insisted so....in the end i got sabo-ed to become the 女主角 for one of the proposal. Den during lunch at high sch, our CT came along and they had a convo. Then he told me he recommned me to be the asst CT rep..Den like after lunch i was like walking with our CT..ALONE!!! Wth...i keep turning back waiting for ppl to rescue me lah...den everyone just dao and move slower and slower and slower and slower and slower...until i cannot even see them when i turned back. Good one!!
Just came back from the campfire performance. Quite a nice experience. The campsite was beautiful, like some farm stay in perth. Den at night can see a lot of stars :]
累了。早點睡吧！

2010-07-27T21:57:00.002+08:00

Exco result was out. I dint get in.
說不會失望的話是在放屁，因為曾經期望過。可是也不會很難過，因為知道自己的希望不大。看開了吧。
Not a really bad thing. At least i can focus on my studies..and i can always find alternatives to build up my portfolio. Anyway, in a group, there can only be one leader. If everyone were to fight for leader, then there will be chaos. So i will play my own part as a follower to support the leader. There is no use if there is a good leader without followers.
Need to chiong work!!! :]

2010-07-25T11:31:00.003+08:00

YAY! Ystd was a fun but exhausting day.
Had GEMS in the morning. ICE SKATING!!! haha, super long nvr ice skate le..actually also not very long..7 mths bah. Last time was with zoe, hazel and wendy :] But this time i finally manage to skate propoerly, though i fell down super lots of times :P But really had a very fun time :]
After that was lunch, then pool..den had to rush off for music lesson. Den after lesson rushed back to dhoby ghaut again cos got as SOS call for cs. Planned to go watch fireworks at marina square myself one. Then on the mrt liao cs called and say need help from me, so i went. He got his taiwan buddy with him but S6Z chinese cmi (like 煙火 became 電燈泡 LOL), so ask me go entertian him. 我說過我會幫忙我就會做到.
Ya, so went picnic at this place near flyer..not a very strategic place to watch fireworks though. But had a fun time :] Then lester shot a 月亮代表我的心 photo and i 獻唱了“小薇” for cs and bel..haha, i so got talent can :p But hope bel is not offended..paiseh
Sian...got a infected wound le...cos of the blades. Nvr wear long socks cos lend it to xinni, den by blades quite loose..den got friction, so 破皮. Dint realise till i waiting for bus to go for lesson, so just anyhow wipe woth wet tissue and put plaster. Den went home bathe that time realise got pus liao..shit..Den today morning see the plaster got pus also..so decided to use alcohol swab to clean.. wah siao lah...pain sia! And my body aching everywhere now...
Hope i don't fall sick! Alrd got sore throat liao still gei kiang skate without jacket. hope my immune system is string enough :p

2010-07-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

Just got back from VGC and bathed. While waiting for hair to dry..shall come blog :]
Sch today quite slack. But smth happened during phy lecture that make me 感觸良多，但也不想多說。
But VGC tiday was fun. After learning the new song, we were jamming on our own. Den ppl start to gather and jam with us also. So damn high!!! Oh ya, today also got suria ppl coming here to film. Den the person keep standing there and filming..den me and shao is like....keep playing and trying to ignore the camera lol.
And the stupid splinter from ystd dinner still not out yet. Eating 打包-ed hokkien mee with the wooden chopsticks, den must be that stupid chopsticks lah..sian. anyway, thx shao for the unsucessful attempt to help me pluck out the splinter :p
Ok..have a great plan tmr. Out the whole day. Dio pangseh by hazel woon!!! but nvm, i shall go alone and mug there also bah. Tmr will be a nice day :]

2010-07-21T18:37:00.007+08:00

Finally, gotten back all the results for blocks.
B B C E S..
Quite happy that I've got improvement in my GP (but maybe it is also becos we changed teacher and she got a diff marking stlye...so also not sure if it is really an improvement or not) But the rest of the results are like...sian :( Seriously...there's no A(s)...My math...CMI this time.. Even my friends did better than me now. Though there is a physics paper before math, but i can't really blame that..I know that it is not an excuse. I know it is me that i dint do well. Phy..So-so..Chem, i knew where i went wrong. I will work harder.
Econ is the thing. I knew where i went wrong after the exam. I lacked structuring skills and plus my sucky english, i can't really explain my points properly. Plus all the panics during exam..i screwed the paper up. Econ is not only about knowledge, but also skills. I may have the knowledge, but not the skill. That's why i did worse than some of the others. When skill is not ur talent, U will have to keep practicing. U will have to put in more effort. So, I will put in more effort. I will make sure I practice. I will ensure this is not just talk cock with no actions taken. I really hope to be determined. I will still rely on myself this year. I will see if I can really do it without reliying on tuition from my brother. I will prove that I can learn a new discipline myself.

2010-07-19T20:38:00.004+08:00

嗨...最近一直嘆氣。
標准的偽善者。
Had FOS for PE today. Won both games for captain's ball!! We rock! But seriously lah, that guy from that class..totally no sportmanship. 連女生都推，太沒風度了。
Got back GP compre paper today. Happy to have a 5 mark improvement :] Happy for my paraphrasing, summary and AQ. But cannot be contented just like that. I will work harder and improve again for the next test!
Tmr got cca..not sure if elections results will be out...Hope for?? I dunno. 不想抱太大的希望，不然失望時會絕望。
又再嘆氣了。Should have a sighing counter and see how many times i can sigh in a day lol.

2010-07-17T20:40:00.002+08:00

Super tired!!!
Had PW workshop today! I was late :p but nvm, the person very nice one haha :p The workshop is quite fun, or i mean very funny. Totally lah. I laugh until stomachache liao can. Our group super funny sia. Especially cs part. Thr floor plan. I really laugh until cannot laugh liao. Our grp dynamices not bad :] But ppl, must do work hor! 不要夸一夸就得意忘形了 :p
And i think me and cs totally 没有默契 haha. Like we said this in our skit "we are not meant for each other..." den later when change speakers we were like 挡住 each other 的去路. Den the totor also say our grp made all the mistakes he said. We damn pro sia.. But i quite proud of my QnA haha. Manage to crap smth chim out :]
Den after the whole workshop we had forfeits for ppl with super lots of pause fillers. Is like hahaha again, but cannot laugh too much, cos stomach still pain. Den i help the person keep his video stuff. I 明明switch off the switch liao den plug out the plug, but then still got shocked by electricity...?!?! hmmm...
But i think our class super lucky to get the tutor from the audi one, cos he very fun. Can see that other classes lesson very boring. 太幸运了!
Played bball again. 4th time this week. Played full court...a bit de siao..and is like 9 guys and 1 girl??? I think i quite useless there lah, but still managed to score 1 tai ko ball. Electone lesson is still like usual. But the guy, the only person who took the exam in june, failed. He is like one of the most passable one in our class liao..den he fail...so i'm like...can i pass?? Sigh...take one exam need $200++ dun wan waste $$ leh...have to pass!!! must jyjy!!!

有些事知道太多对身心不太有益。還是沉默地觀察吧。

2010-07-17T00:31:00.002+08:00

hmmm..waiting for hair to dry.
Election was...ok bah i guess. But i dont think i can get votes from peers bah.
Cos i think there are better ppl out there. Like there are a few that ppl will confirm choose one, so ..聽天由命吧。希望把得失心調到最低，才不會太過在意結果。
Got PW workshop tmr early in the morning....sian lah...need to faster slp le...hair quickly dry leh!

有時候把心裏的話說出來真得會比較舒服。不會再胡思亂想了。很感謝緣分把我們拉在一起成為知己。

2010-07-15T20:53:00.002+08:00

Played bball almost everyday...except for tues. Maybe i shld rest tmr also le...shan't play too much. The sun super strong and i getting darker and darker. Then everytime i play my face will turn super red..quite ugly..i also care image one can :p hahaha
发生了许多事。从来没想过我如此让人信任。"相信我，我会回报你的信赖。"
I am like a bank. You can deposit anything you want and withdraw it any time. I will save keep them :]
是时候放手了。不要想太多。明天的 exco election do my best can le. Don't be to stressed up!!!
"若你要繼續戰斗，那我就是你戰斗的劍，守護你的盾。"
相信一切会明朗化! :]

2010-07-12T19:38:00.003+08:00

Today's principal dialogue was about love. Oh no no, i mean True Love :p
Den GP we did ethics, and learnt examples of ethical dilemma. Finally learning smth for GP. Quoting smth someone said from my class (forgot who le),"what we learn in 1.5 hr today is more than what we learn in 6 mth" Totally agrees :]
Ok, that is not the main point. The main point is, after some critical thinking (principal say must have critical thinking), I think that Love is actually an ethical dilemma too!
What makes me say so? Is like got this qn posted: when is the best time to start BGR?
Ok, den got this comment by the secretary that makes sense to me. It goes like: you can't really set a time for urself to be engaged in BGR. It depends on when the right person appear.
But then right...wat if ur parents say that you can only start BGR like after JC for example? Then when the right person comes around, shld you start a relationship? If you start, u are disobeying ur parents, making them upset, which is unfilial. But if you don't, den you are sacrificing ur opportunity, ur happiness for the sake of ur parents. What happens if the person is really the right one? U missed it, and it will never come back again? Den you are breaking the person's heart and ur heart.
Hmmm...dilemma sia...haha. That's the end of my love thesis LOL :p